Messages from Fried Onion

I got a text off Fried Onion today, it reads: 

"Dear ungrateful grandchild. You think you know it all, you youth of today are all the same. Well one day you will be old like me and maybe you will smell funny too. In the meantime, enjoy art, I posed nude for your art teacher and now we are going to run away and get married. So put that in your diary you silly brat."

 I couldn't give a stuff what she does to be honest, but cant have her letting her think shes got one over to me, so i signed up for lots of premium rate services under her mobile number and subsribed her to 'Time Of Your Life', you know, the catalogue that sells incontinence knickers to old people? Lets see how long her toyboy sticks around after that lands on her doorstep.

Donna-Marie pulled my seat out from under me in the canteen today, she thought it was so funny when I fell on my bum, but absolutely everyone in the canteen thought it was so much funnier when i got up and threw the chair at her.

 I have detention tonight, but thats ok, cos I am cutting out letters in 'Heat' to send some hatemail to Fried Onion

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