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Thursday 26th June

If I'd been born a boy, I'd definitely go for a sex change. How on earth do they manage with all that stuff dangling around them? And they're so clumsy. Andrew Marvel is always falling over parts of his body and his legs are just hysterical! Boys are just too intense, and serious, man; I don't think I'll ever want anything from them.

I am in a class of my own: there's not one other girl in this whole school who hasn't got her eyes googled on some boy. I think they should all be tested for Malaria or something. Some of them won't eat because they think they're being oogled back. I tell you, it'd take a whole lot of something else to make me stop eating - I wouldn't care if the hottest of the hot was sitting in front of me, I'd still be shoving the food in. They're all mental and if they think I'm following them down there they're right wrong!

Sausages on a fork, relish and coke makes everything better.

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