My homework last night was to give our music teacher, Mrs Wobble, a makeover, so she stayed the night in my room and we stayed up composing a hiphop song all night. She was pleased with our work and so was the Art Teacher, Mr Painter, who'd set the homework, when he saw her in her new outfit and the new hairweave I made for her out of dog hairs I scraped off the sofa.
She also gave me a lift to school this morning, which was so embarrassing and random, but at least it meant I didn't have to worry about missing the bus again.
At lunchtime I told Lucy Meecock that I fancied her brother Joe but please, please, please not to tell him or I'd burn her schoolbag. What did she do? Told him of course.
I got a detention because of setting fire to her schoolbag, which set off the beanbags in the gym, which spread to the ropes, which spread to the roof, which fell down on Mrs Wobble's head, so she's now in hospital in a coma.
We had bubble and squeak and chips for lunch.