Sat 18th Sept
As I am writing this, I am finding a suitcase and packing up my things. I really cannot stand another day in this school of hell as it seems. I am going to be very mellow and on a low vibe now, and just get on with what I have to do.
I am double checking that I have everything I want to take with me, just in case I need it. I have my laptop and charger, phone and charger, clothes and a wash bag, plenty of food, a blanket, a warm hat, some coats, and as much money as I could get my hands on.
I feel really bad about leaving my mum out of this decision, but it's too late now. I feel this way really strongly, so I am going to explain in a note to her. Here goes:
I have packed my things and left because I am extremely unhappy. There are bullies at school and I don't want to deal with this any more. For the entire time that I have been at high school they have made me walk away big time.
I hope you can forgive me and for how I have made you feel. I don't mean it to hurt or for anything to go wrong, but I don't know what to do. I have packed everything that I need for survival.
I can make it out on my own.
I know it.
I love you.
I am beginning to doubt this decision, but then I think of how I need to do this to show that I can win this battle by walking away. I have to do this - don't I?
Well, it's too late now, because in a minute you are going to go into my bag with other pens and pencils so that I can write in you again. I don't know why I feel this way so strongly, but I do.
Wish me the best of luck to survival.