I use to laugh I use to play
With an authentic wonderment Embracing life each day
There was so much innocence
My burden was light
No offenses to my senses
Everything was alright
But as I grew older it seemed the child inside
Assaulted by a harsh seemed to run and hide
When this happened I felt an empty void within
No light no laughter But a dark pit I fell in
Depressive thoughts tormented Attacking my brain
I just wanted to sleep I thought it would keep me sane
Desperate for diversions Anything would do
If it will numb this pain I was now going through
I met up with others My homeboys in the hood
We seemed to connect They said they understood
We hooked up daily Unbeknownst to me
The playground of the devil
Where misery loves company
I smoked pot habitually- inhaling Absorbing it dry
Soon bored by the results I needed a new high
So I chased down connections Straying far from my home **(IGNORING MY BELLS BEEPEN WARNING DANGER ZONE)****
Thugs spotted me cash Upfront, real nice guys **(IGNORING MY BELLS BEEPEN IT WAS ALL A PACK OF LIES)! ****
Forsaking everything Now a duel monkey on my back
In debited to dealers, free basing crack
And then upon my foreboding Ongoing bed of Fear
I called out to God!! Take away my fear
Instead I landed in dry out To FACE all my FEAR
When my head started to clear up And the fog started to go
I thought about the devil’s tactics
Coz He speaks what he knows
"Quick fixes – fast money- coke up the nose"
In the devil’s playground You think you know the rules
But this is where you find out You’re just another used fool!
Exploited for unrighteousness Being deceived isn’t cool
When the devil is your teacher in "Chain and bondage School"
Now I look to my family The ones who truly love me
Like Angels along the sidelines Beacons of light believing in me
And every time I get down
Depressive thoughts make me sad
I remember the reflection in the eyes of mom & dad
They reflect back a light of what is truly real (MY BELLS BEEPEN LOUDLY NOW THIS IS THE REAL DEAL)
Only Love holds the power The devil knows this too!
But he isn’t going to reveal this awsome truth to you.
He invests is your weakness’ Although he'll never tell
So you’ll keep drinking From his empty well
But love invents she's triumphant Courageously challenges us on
Gives us a new rhyme a hope filled song
So that is my story I must say this is true
There is nothing more authentic than
"My son I love you"....
To my son... 5 yrs in sobriety!!