The Devil

What if the Devil was actually a good guy? The all too familiar story, from his perspective...
This story is a result of my contemplation on christian religion, and is entirely a product of my imagination. I do not intent to offend anyone, so if you are extremely religious, I suggest you skip this one.

I can not tell you who, or what I am... For too long have I been trapped down here, and not much has left of me now. My senses diminished, I can no longer see, hear, smell, nor touch. The only thing I am allowed to feel is the pain of scorching chains piercing what is left of my wings. He even tried to strip me of my memories, and mostly succeeded in doing so. One thing he could not erase, for it is embedded in me, as well as in every other creation of his. It is the knowing that he exists. Apart from that, there are only two things I still know. I know who he truly is, and there is a glimpse of who I had been back then, left in my mind.

 

Once I hovered over the tall grass of the Kingdom, but now I am chained in this pit, and my knees are skinned to the bone. My wings once captured the purest of light, but now they are burnt, and I would thought them gone, if it weren't for the searing pain. I held my head up high and with pride, but now I bow down, chained like a wild beast. Back then I was one of his favorite sons, as he liked to say, and perhaps that is the reason my punishment is so severe. I will tell you of the deed for which I suffer in the deepest of depths, in the darkest and the loneliest of places. A place you would not even be able to imagine. A place that HE created.

 

He gave us life that lasted forever. Senses, so we could enjoy all of the beauty of his creations. A mind, so we could think and share our experiences with one another. We had everything, and didn't have to do anything. He loved us, wouldn't you say?

Well, it did seem that way at first. He did however ask for one thing in return. "What?", you might ask. Our freedom, of course. We had to blindly follow his orders, for he was our father - the Creator. Now try and imagine an immortal life with no meaning, with nothing else to do but obey his will. Imagine being given wings, but having nowhere to go. We had no other task, but to watch over the other pawns in his vast playground. And to think we were angels - divine and pure...

 

Maybe we were, compared to the two of them. Don't fool yourself, they were nothing like you. They certainly looked a lot like you do today, yes, but they were more like what you now call animals. Beasts even. Mindless, completely unaware of their own existence, driven by instincts - the only thing that he gave them. It seemed to me that their life had neither purpose, nor meaning. I just couldn't see the good and the love in that. At first, I tried convincing myself that the "wise Almighty" had a good reason for creating them, and that they were a part of his divine design, just like we (the angels) were. I thought to myself: "Who am I to question HIM? It is perfectly fine that I do not understand what he is doing with them, he is on a completely different level, a level that I could never hope to reach. He gave me everything, and he loved me, and for that I should feel grateful."

 

I would have succeeded in lying to myself if it weren't for the tree... I presume that you know which tree I speak of. He created the most perfect apple tree in existence, with the most beautiful fruits, and that's when it happened. A new feeling suddenly rushed through me. I did not know back then, but I do know now, what it was. Empathy. I could very well understand their position, even if they could not, and I felt sorry for the two he named humans. The consciousness was right there, withing their grasp, but the funny thing is, they did not even know it. They were indirectly forced to look at the tree and it's magnificent fruits, but were forbidden from ever touching it. He himself even spoke to the two humans, and told them that they would be punished were they to eat from it. He even told them it was the tree of knowledge! The poor creatures listened to him. They didn't even care. They didn't even know... 

 

With each passing day the uneasiness grew stronger within me. And it continued to grow, until a thought appeared in my mind. He isn't good, he is torturing them. He is even taking pleasure in it! He is controlling them, controlling me. He's controlling everything. HE IS EVIL! 

I was determined to give them that which has been stolen from me. I was gonna grant them their freedom. It was almost too easy. I just reached and grabbed one of the apples, and handed it to the one called Eve. It didn't even take much effort to convince the two to eat it. I looked like him, all of the angels did. I just told them that HE rewarded them for their obedience with that one apple, and they believed me, just as they believed every word that came out of his mouth. I was such a fool! Now I even think that all of it was a test for me, to see if I was still as loyal and as obedient as before. I fell right into his trap, and for that I am punished 'till the end of time.

 

I merely wanted them to be aware of who they are, to be able to think and feel, just like the rest of us. It isn't like the knowledge was limited. It isn't like I took something away from HIM, but he felt differently. But if he wanted them to remain mindless animals forever, why did he then put it there? Why did he create such a tree in the first place? And now he even tricked their descendants into thinking I was a snake - me, who was one of the purest angels. He made them think that I was the one to fool their kind. He made them think that they all suffer because of ME, and because of what I have done! I just wanted to help  them, to set them free, and for that I now suffer. He is so cunning. It's come to the point that they have to worship him, and have to think of me as the personification of Evil.

 

He lost control over them, and he was furious. First he created Hell - my dungeon.  I had to suffer for defying him, and he made sure it was in the worst place possible. That's when it hit me. No loving and divine being would be able to suddenly create such a horrid thing. I was absolutely convinced that he must have been pure Evil all along.

 

I was alone for quite some time. Trapped in the very center of the Earth, my wings pierced by chains, my body burnt by molten lava, and my spirit broken. But he didn't want to let me die. He left me with his gift of immortality, and made sure I suffered eternally. I begged, I cried, I screamed and I apologized for as long as I could, but it was all in vein. Of course he didn't answer. At first he ignored me, but as he grew tired of my voice, he took it away. I wasn't sure what happened to my sight and smell... He might have taken them too, or I might have become accustomed to the dark and the smell of burning flesh. Either way, they were useless. I thought I had been deprived of my hearing as well, until their poor souls started screaming in agony. He knew I helped them because I felt for them, and he made me hear their screams, knowing that  I will hurt even more. 

 

At first they only screamed, but later they started begging and cursing, just like I did. That's when I found out about his second most evil deed! They weren't cursing HIM, they blamed it all on me. He effortlessly tricked them into thinking that I was the one responsible for their faith. That all the evil things that they did in their lives, weren't in fact them, but me - the Devil that had possessed their mortal souls. Even now that they are conscious, they are still far too naive. I have never had such power. That is a gift he would not bestow upon anyone, an ability he selfishly kept to himself. What seems kinda comical is that they even think that I'm the one who tortures them in this foul place... What a paradox.

 

Sometimes I even wonder if the Kingdom still exists. I wouldn't be surprised if he had banished everyone out of Heaven, and dragged them down here to share my faith. I BET that's the case! He is most likely just sitting up there on his throne, with a stupid grin on his face, taking delight in his vengeance. The funny thing is that the people upon Earth worship him. They even make temples of gold, glorifying him. They have special days on which they devote their time to appreciate all that he has done for them, prayers about him, books even.

Speaking of books, I must not forget to mention the seven characteristics he named the 7 deadly sins. Characteristics that HE has, but won't forgive the humans for having. What a mockery! It must be because he knows exactly what he is, but won't admit that simple truth to himself. That is why the price for being like him, reminding him of he truly is, is death. And to think that humans somehow managed to fool themselves into thinking that they do it all because they love him. How easily are fear and hatred mistaken for love.

 

I was thinking, what a great ruler of the Kingdom I would have been. I would never have asked for any of these things. I never did ask for anything, I simply gave them what I thought was rightfully theirs. I don't expect you to understand. I don't expect you to forgive me, for my deed has done you as much harm as it did  me, but that was not my intention, nor was that MY doing. Do not fool yourself, he isn't punishing your kind because he hates you. He doesn't even care... He simply does it to hurt me, but I do not  expect you  to understand that either, nor do I expect you to feel for me. I do, however, wish to ask for one small thing. A simple "thank you". Yes, a "thank you" would be more than enough...

The End

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