I can't believe I've been so stupid.
I've done some daring things in my life, looked death in the face and laughed hard, but this, this was just stupid, tempting things I had no comprehension of and they taught me, they taught me good, but i wasn't about to let it end this way, I couldn't.
"Please tell me you not planning on going BACK?!", Sarah at my side, I looked at her gorgeous face, the subtly of her eyes lost behind absolute terror, the deep gash running down the left hand side of her face, from ear to chin, her long brown hair torn and mangled.
"I have too, all of this is my fault, don't you get it, if the others die its completely my fault!", I closed the cupboard door and zipped up the tube bag and swinging it over my shoulder, "Sarah, I can't just leave them there, would you want me to leave you?!!", she turned away from me, hiding her face in her hands,
"Why did we go with you?", she sobbed, if we'd just gone with the others we'd have been fine!".
She was right, if we'd gone to the after show party with the others none of this would have happened, Pete, Tom and I would be drunk, drooling over that mini skirt in the props department, Kate would have ended up in bed with the dick head director, as usual, and Sarah would have ended up being the sober one, telling us all we'd had enough and some how making sure we all ended up in cabs home at some point, but here we are.
"I'm going back, Sarah, you stay here and call for help, tell them to send ambulances and the police, tell them theres been a collapse, top two floors or something, and tell them to hurry, people may be hurt!", with that I turned my back on the girl who had surprised me beyond belief three times that night, and walked out of my front door, for what was probably going to be the very last time.
It was freezing outside, I'd swear the temperature had dropped in the ten minutes or so it had taken me to the pack the bag and leave again. I stood on the door step, staring down the street, funny, it had always seemed so homely, returning from holidays and rounding the bend into the familular road, its same old cars, same old pets and kids running around, just felt, you know, homely?! Now it was cold, everything looked grey and dead, the very night having turned against me, knowing my plight.
The row of houses, all Victorian, all the same as they always were, yet, I knew they were all full of friends and neighbors, but the houses? They all seemed to shadow over as I walked past, I could have sworn I saw lights flicker off, curtains get whipped shut as I passed, but I knew I was wrong, that my neighbors were all in bed and asleep, I can tell you, at that moment, I have never felt so alone.
Have you ever felt like the moon was shining down on you, and you alone? I have, that night. I was moving towards the top of the street and nearing the cross roads, the left lane leading into town, the right leading the way I had to go, up the hill, past the old farm, down along the path that runs through the old churchyard, and then down to the old village, on past its dead houses and condemned Inn, and then, then there was just the lane,leading to the house. Oh why did I ever take them to that house?
I stopped at the top of the street at the foot of the cross road, ahead, across the road, still fields and open country for miles. In the day light, I'd have taken the field, just a twenty minute hike through the fields and I could have been at the house, but not tonight, not through the fields, their rows of dry dead corn sway in the gentle breeze, whispering in every swoosh and sway daring me to enter, tonight the entire world was working against me, and I still had no one to blame but myself.
I looked down at my watch, 01:33, god it had only been five and half hours??!! How could your entire world, everything you know and believe, be turned upside down in five and a half hours??!!
The cross roads lay before me, the left would lead me into town, to the Station, a train out of here, into the city, miles away from this nightmare, no, no that wouldn't work, then the Police might blame you, if the others can't be saved, no, I should go to the Police, let them go, give them the same story as Sarah should be doing now! What if they go? What if they see the roof or house in one piece and presume its a wind up? They might only send a couple of coppers in, they could get hurt to? What if I've angered whats in the house to much and it just takes everyone??!! Will people still blame me??!!
"No, no I have to go, take the right path you fucking coward and get on with it!"
I shout at myself to go, to get a move on, but straight away my heart is pounding, my eyes darting from left to right, wondering what I may have disturbed in the dark, it's so dark, all the street lights gone and no more to come on the right lane, for none were built before the village died, and no one goes that way, no one but me.
So, here I go, the right lane, the first part of my journey back into the hell I've barely just escaped with my life, I have no one left to miss me, no one to care when I'm gone, no one but my friends, and if i don't hurry, they'll all be dead.