Chapter 11Mature

After 5 minutes of struggling I remove myself from the steel antenna I was impaled upon. I watch my body instantly heal from the damage, leaving behind only a hole in my clothing the same diameter as the antenna. Climbing down from the building, I look around in awe...everything in this city is dedicated to me.


I walk down the main drag, towards where my house used to be located, and the Church of Awesome now stands. I am quickly recognized by various people, and soon find myself bombarded by people asking for autographs, or just asking questions. Some people are just staring at me with a look at awe and amazement, and two guys even dropped to their knees, bowing in front of me saying "We're not worthy, we're not worthy." It reminded me of Wayne's World from my childhood years.


Due to the continually growing crowd, I am so overwhelmed I hardly notice most of the city as I walk through it, only catching glimpses of the various buildings, all of which seem to be dedicated to me in some way or another. I noticed a Museam of Awesome, which I would love to check out, The Awesome Bar and Grill, and The House Which Was Built By Awesome (I don't ever remember building a house). I also see advertisements on numerous neon signs and the giant real-def televisions screens all around the city attempting to sell products I've never heard of. Things like "Awesome Possum", "Awesome Green Rings" and "Grawesome Drops." I even signed an autograph in a book titled "The Legend of The Legend Known To Man As Awesome". 


And then the crowd around me parts leaving nothing between me and the Church of Awesome. The entire church appears to be carved from solid black marble. The entire structure is covered in carvings of all kinds of bad ass shit. My fire shooting wheelie riding motorcycle, gargoyles, dragons, guitars, naked demon chicks, numerous heavy metal band logos, and Pauley Shore. To reach the entrance, you first have to climb a set of about 50 black marble steps. At the top of the steps there is a huge arch made of the same black marble, and a huge black wooden gate. The gate is like something you would imagine on a castle, and probably stands 50 feet tall. Carved into the wood is a picture of me.


The doors of the church open soundlessly, and the light from within is bright I cannot see anything inside.  I make the last few steps, crossing the threshold into the church, when a voice behind me says "Welcome Awesome! We, your loyal followers, have long awaited your return." I turn around, facing back outside the church, and see that everyone has dropped to their knees in a sign of worship. I smile to myself, loving this moment and scream "I'm fucking awesome bitches!!!"

The End

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