Chapter SevenMature

I answer the door, to find one of my mechanics holding a set of car keys out to me.

" Here's the keys to you new Eco-car. It will be ready first thing in the morning."

I thank him, and head to my bed room, ready to get a good night sleep.


Awaking early, I decided to take my newest car out for a drive. It wad delivered to my mansion while I was on tour last. It's the newest Eco-friendly, sports, luxury car in existence. The general public won't be able to get these for another 4 months.

The newest features for this years model are the new engine and the exhaust system. The engine is fueled by trash, similar to the fuel system you may remember from Back to the Future. The new exhaust system turns all emissions from the car into Happy Meals (your choice of chicken nuggets or cheeseburger, including the toy) and the crab biscuits from Red Lobster (which for some reason come in a Happy Meal box).

So I start the car, and start eating the biscuits, and happy meals that the car is providing. I flip the honey mustard switch (which comes standard) and am flying down the roads, surpassing speeds of 200 miles per hour, while enjoying my homey mustard covered chicken nuggets.

I link by brain implant to my car's Wi-Fi connection, and instantly can access any song I can think of. I decide to go old school, and instantly Acid Bath is playing.

Linking my brain implant chip further with the car, my mind takes full control. With my hands now free, I decide it's time to smoke one, so I reach into my center compartment, and pull out a huge bag of weed.  While still using my mind to drive, I use my hands to roll a long joint, then use my hands to smoke it.


Sometime later, I realize I got the munchies bad. I get off the highway I'm currently driving on, and quickly notice a Wal-Mart. I park, and literally run to the grocery side. Ten minutes later, I jogging back to the car with 4 bags of munchies, I enter the car and dump out my bounty of munchies on the passenger seat. I open a bag of chips, and drive back towards the highway.

After finishing the chips, I reach over to find the Swiss Cake Rolls, but my hand doesn't feel the box. I look over and see that it has fallen on the floor. So I lean over, reaching for the box. As I grab it I am overcome with a odd feeling...something is out of place, but I can't figure out what. Shrugging off the feeling, I sit back up, rip open the box, and preparing to devour the first snack when I look out the window and noticed my car has drove straight off the mountain cliff. I see the grown below me, as the car plummets it's way down the 17000 foot drop, the top down with Happy Meal Boxes flying out everywhere. I lean back and enjoy the ride, knowing as long as I've got my magic cowboy hat I'll be fine. 

The End

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