I wiped my blade for the third time and examined it. There was still a small amount of blood and brain matter in some of its corners but nothing I couldn’t fix later. Jayden and had just picked up Sam and were taking him inside, “Make sure you put him in the sun room,” I said calmly over my shoulder “there will be more light when we operate.” Instead of going to the house with the rest, I walked down, through the garden and over a few fences and past a pen of pigs, to the front gate to see if any others had made it this far. None that I could see had, but that didn’t mean much at the moment. Jayden must despise me at the moment, I thought. Just because I’m showing my true colours, coming out of my shell, well if they want to get themselves killed I won’t stop them.
I made my way back and as I got to the veranda Jayden came storming out, “What the hell is wrong with you!” he shouted in my face. Having had much practice at controlling my facial expressions I stared back at him with a blank mask, “I only tried to help in the quickest way possible.” I said calmly. “Yes well you could have hit Sam!” he retorted, none of the anger or frustration leaving his voice. “And yet I didn’t.” I said back simply, I pushed past him and walked back into the house. As soon as I got to the small living room a hand came out of nowhere and slapped me across my cheek, my head moved slightly to the side and then back to its original position. Jess was standing in front of me; her face and right hand were both bright red, I assumed the hand was from slapping me. My cheek stung for a few seconds before starting to throb slightly. “Can I assume that you’re pissed?” I asked neutrally “And before you give me the whole ‘you could have killed him’ talk, Jayden’s beat you to it.” She tried to slap me again but I caught he arm and walked past her, through the house and out into the back yard, past the cars and up to the Sheep Shed. It was almost relaxing, not having to pretend to care, not having that feeling of what would they think? I could finally be myself.
When I got to the Sheep Shed I went looking through some of the boxes that my family still hadn’t unpacked since moving here, even though we’d been here at least five years. I found a couple of my dad’s old canteens and army gear including a few vests, gear harnesses, a couple of duffle bags and a little bit more camo netting. I packed the netting and a harness into one of the bags and set it aside behind a low wooden wall away from sight. They obviously didn’t trust me anymore, so I had to plan ahead. I wouldn’t harm any of them if I could help it, but if they got themselves into a situation that they could have avoided, then it’s their fault and they shall live with the consequences. Or at least live for awhile anyway.
I had sat down in the shed and grabbed a few pieces of old clothing, wrapt some around one of my knives and used it to clean the bayonet. It took awhile but I finished and went back down to the house, wondering if they had all calmed down a bit. I took a small detour to one of the other sheds that had a few metal barrels that came up to the top of my stomach, and two quad bikes. I opened one of the barrels, had a quick look at the contents, turned it on its side and rolled it down to the house. When I finally got there were a few people outside, John, peter and one of the girls. Turning the barrel back right ways up, I said “From what I’ve seen you guys need all the help you can get.” I opened the barrel and tossed an old WWII helmet at John plus another harness and a green camo jacket at Peter “There’s more here, but I’ll let you guys figure the rest out. I’ve already got my stuff.” I turned to back to the Shed when Peter asked, in a low and slightly shocked voice “You really don’t care, do you?” I looked over my shoulder at him, bemused “It’s not that I don’t care, it’s that I couldn’t care more.” I started to walk saying back at them “And besides, if anyone is going to make it, it won’t be most you.” I gave out a short piece of laughter and, putting my hands in my pockets, I strolled off back up to the shed to see if there was any meat stored in the freezer.
An hour after I had been down to the house, and found frozen pig ribs and chops in the freezer, I was watching the meat defrost while reading a book when john came through the door. He stood there for a few seconds and when I looked up at him he had a passive, yet slightly annoyed look on his face “We have to talk.” He said. I dropped my hands to either side and lolled my head backwards in a false exasperation “If you’re here to tell me that I need to change my attitude, be nicer or some other shit like that don’t bother.” He put a hand to his head and sighed “What the hell has happened to you?” I looked up at him “I stopped acting like everyone else, stopped trying to blend in with the crowd.” He was silent for awhile longer “We also need to know why you need to horde all those weapons?” I chuckled at that “First there is that they are all mine and also that this whole place is mine and that you are still here is only because I allow it.” John gave me a glare “You couldn’t take us all even if you wanted too.” I smiled at that “Your right. The ones who run towards Bredbo would get away.” John just shook head and walked out.