It had been two weeks, things were going slowly between me and Jake, nothing bad... just taking it slow. Everyone else seemed to be happy couples. The babies were fine. Everything was fine.
My heart pounded as I climbed the stairs to the hideaway, where Jake was undoubtedly reading. My converse didn't make a sound on the stone steps. Everyone else was out in the garden, enjoying each others company.
I slowly creaked the door open.
Standing in front of him I couldn't speak. He smiled over his book and gestured for me to snuggle up with him. That's what we usually did. Light the fire and read in each others arms. I flexed my fist not taking my eyes off of him. He frowned.
"Penny what's wrong?" I didn't say anything. "Penny?... Penny! What's wrong?!" he jumped up but I flew my hands up motioning him to not come near me.
"... I can't do this anymore." I said quietly, not taking my eyes off of him.
"This!" I shouted, "I can't do this anymore... I can't love you,...I can't. This is stupid!"
"What's stupid?" he took a step forward.
"Don't come near me!" My chest was pounding up and down. "I don't know how" I carried on raising my voice. "I'm surrounded by happiness!"
"Is that wrong?"
"I have no idea how to love... or... or be happy, I've never had a family to look after me, or care, or be around!"
"Penny.. don't do this. Please. I love you." he pleaded.
"I can't do it." I said, a tear rolling down my cheek.
"Please." I shook my head, breathing heavily another tear fell down.
"I'm sorry." I whispered, turning on my heel I bolted out of the door and down the stairs.
"Penny!" he ran after me. "Penny please!.. Penny don't do this to me!" I ran through our bedroom and onto the balcony.
I stopped at the bedroom door, looking at her back as she faceed the forest. "Penny please" I pleaded with her again and again. She transformed into a robin and flew away. Right in front of my eyes. She was gone. I stood there, looking at the spot where she disappeared.
I stared, not even blinking, hoping she would come back and this was just a sick joke.
She didn't come back.
Without blinking I slowly walked down the stairs and into the garden.
"Hey Jake!" I think India said, I wasn't taking anything in. "What's wrong?" everyone turned with concerned look on there faces.
"Jake what's up?" Dominic asked. I couldn't see as my eyes were clouding over with red. "Oh god.. Someone sit him down... Now!" My whole body became numb I couldn't feel anything, I presumed someone sat me down as my legs gave way.
"You need to find her." I whispered choking.
"Who?" someone asked.
"Where is she."
"I don't know." My chest heaved as I chocked on the big ball that was in my throat, with her words repeatidly ringing through my head 'I can't do this anymore'.