A Brief Diversion Through the Past 2.Mature

For those of you who are struggling to understand the concern of both Quiz and Xlasticon Exzu’Bra I should perhaps explain the following. Long before Humanity reached the stars (courtesy of Ohujamaflop Woppsipp), before they’d even climbed down from the trees and decided that evolution may be worth a shot, the Galaxies were dangerous places. Before the rule of the Galactic Empire was strengthened and expanded by the arrival of the insanely violent Humans, there was a great deal of lawlessness. Armies of space pirates roamed the trading paths between the stars, killing, looting and generally causing havoc. Then one day, the largest of these piratical armies made a huge mistake, they boarded a star ship from Boney-O 5 and slaughtered everyone aboard.

Word of this atrocity made it back to Boney-O 5, where the entire population swore revenge, for the Boney-on Princess Aliss, heir to the throne of Boney-O 5 had been amongst those brutally killed. As a they were a most unwar-like race, the golden Spaniel-like inhabitants started genetic experiments on themselves in order to toughen up and increase their capacity for violence. To the sorrow of all they succeeded and took to the stars en masse, a ravening horde of unspeakably violent acts. They caught their sworn enemies and destroyed them utterly but their experiments had been poorly researched. Thoroughness had been sacrificed for speed, and they continued to mutate in unexpected ways, the horror of what they had done to themselves and their enemies leaving them irrevocably insane and evil. They became worse than those they had destroyed.

The once peaceful, golden Spaniel-like inhabitants of Boney-O 5 waged war against all civilisations. There was not a space travelling race that did not feel the furry paw of spaniel aggression and repression. Entire species were enslaved or butchered on a whim, as had so often happened in the past communications between worlds broke down, society began to fracture…. Until the unheard of happened.

Victory! Victory at Glen Parva!

The heart of the Galactic Empire resisted the golden, curly haired, floppy eared invaders. Pushed back by the hastily collected forces of the Empire, confused and in disarray, they turned tail and fled to their home system, licking their wounds, their tails between their legs. But the shattered might and brains of the Empire was too weak and exhausted to finish the Spaniels off for good. Thus, the Meeragon VIiI anomaly was devised, a barrier powered by the solar winds, designed to last forever. The anomaly however did have one flaw, although nothing could get out, things could, would and did get in, to be trapped inside the most dangerous place and inescapable prison in the Known Galaxies.

This then was where the Querolous Quisling of Appradorn and Xlasticon Exzu’Bra, Emperor Guppy of the planet Zawg were headed at 16.6 Mega-wops per second. Time was short (about 5 seconds were left, 2 if you’re a slow reader) and the Emperor Guppy stared at his hero and mentor hoping that, as always, he’d be able to save the day.

“Sorry fellas!”  The NELIP-HANT whined as the Hyperdymentially Challenged 7 entered the Boney-On territory. “Nothing personal!” The Meeragon VIiI anomaly swallowed the deathly silent start ship.

The End

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