The Continuing Adventures of the Querolous Quisling of Appradorn, Last of the Warrior Priests of the Secret Order of Craznabar: The Spaniels of Boney-O 5Mature

Quiz enlists the help of the Emperor Guppy fish Xlasticon Exzu'Bra in a fight to save the Yellow Banded Swizzler, defeat the apparently returned menace of the golden spaniels of Boney-O 5 and outwit the duplicitous Board of Gemma-tech (TM)

Xlasticon Exzu'Bra ruler of planet Zawg, was bored. He was also, as should be obvious to all but the most ignorant, an Emperor Guppy Fish, and the most advanced fishy life form in the known Galaxy.  Nevertheless, despite this claim to fame he was finding life tedious.  The wearisome drag of years passing by was comparable to a lifetime of wet Sunday afternoons spent indooors with nothing to watch on the telly whilst Auntie Nora natters on and on about school and Uncle Aethelbert's recent operation.

Zawg however, contained no Auntie Noras, Uncle Aethelberts, or operations and the only schools around were of fish. Zawg was (and still is as far as I know) a planet under water, not a single landmass existed, not a continent nor tropical island inhabited by native folk in grass skirts. Nothing but, well, water, gently undulating waves, or at every 2nd Trilobeth (approximately 3 months) angry waves being torn every which way by the competing gravities of Zawgs eighteen moons.

Zawg has been referred to as a blessed planet. When the warlike and sadistic Akranian Megamach Destroyers swarmed across the known Galaxy leaving nothing but stamped out civilizations and guttering stars behind them, Zawg was left untouched. Mainly because the Akranian Megamach Destroyers hated salt water, a fact which they made obvious by steering well clear of Zawg and other watery worlds.  Unfortunately for them, they made it too obvious, a mere millenia later, the Swazgarbilious Gargantians of Lower Titchmarsh decided to swarm right back at the Akranian Megamach Destroyers and finish the blighters off for good with a rather effective warm salt water enema.

Anyway, Zawg was blessed but Xlasticon Exzu'Bra, Emperor Guppy and jolly kind King of the planet, was bored. He swung his seaweed Sceptre back and forth, fitfully played Tides (a game similar to Earth's own Draughts), harrumphed at the beginning of each new day, and sighed despairingly at the setting of the Sun each night. His palace below the waves was magnificent, his authority unquestioned, his power absolute, his people happy.  In fact, one might go so far as to say that Xlasticon Exzu'Bra was the only unhappy person on all of the planet Zawg.  He could dream though, and he dreamt of taking his place on the inter-Galactic stage, forging peaceful, lasting alliances, denouncing tyrants and spreading the joy and wisdom of the Zawg way of life.

Xlasticon Exzu'Bra worried his advisors.  Unlike his predecessors he'd been off-world and seen some of the Galaxy, and in fact (hard though it was to believe) he'd been involved in some pretty exciting adventures, involving space pirates, inter-Galactic spy-rings, massive Government conspiracies and even a fight with a homicidal librarian (for a full account please refer to The Querolous Quisling of Appradorn and the Overdue Library Book).  He had not settled back into the routine life on Zawg easily and the King's advisors started to worry themselves over him, muttering about his wanderlust and itchy fins.  Occasionally in his sleep he would call out the names of his adventuring companions, especially that of the Querolous Quisling of Appradorn, last and greatest of the Warrior Priests of Craznabar.

His advisors fretted, and as Xlasticon Exzu'Bra, four hundred million, eight hundred and fifteen thousand, six hundred and seventy sixth King of Zawg continued his listless and unhappy days, for the first time ever, Zawg fell under a terrible black cloud of despair.  The advisors passed their worries on and soon fish all over the happy planet were frowning with a vague unease.  Something had to be done and the dolphin advisor of Brickivax Sea believed he knew just the thing to rouse the King from his dark thoughts.  The Querolous Quisling of Appradorn was sent a message, calling for him to make all speed to the aid of his one time battle companion and dear friend.  And how could a Warrior Priest of Craznabar ignore such a request?

The End

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