The next day, I found myself thinking about Arthur and feeling guilty for being captivated by Henry (who was now silent and withdrawn at school) in the intervals between the occasions on which I saw the latter.
I wondered if this was due to last night. Has my mind been subtly changed in some way so that I'm more able to get over my fascination with Henry? But I don't see how that could have happened. After all, Arthur never hypnotised me.
... Or did he?
Making Harriet my proprius
2. Encouraging her dependency on me
i) Delayed arrival at her house
It was painful, I felt awful, I wished I could come up with better plans, but this afternoon, I set off for Harriet's house three quarters of an hour later than usual.
Waiting the hour may just have killed me.
When I rang her doorbell, she answered within seconds.
"Arthur, where have you been?!"
Harriet was distressed. Her chest was rising and falling rapidly, there was a wildness about her eyes and her expression was one of desperation.
She pulled me into her arms and kicked the door shut.
"Never ever do that to me again," she said. Already she was beginning to calm down from seeing me.
"Okay," I said. And I didn't want to. I didn't like to see her worried and afraid. I especially didn't like the fact that we wouldn't be able to spend as much time together tonight.
But I wanted her to be my proprius, didn't I? And for that, she needed to be dependent on me. Oh, if only our roles could be reversed! How willingly I would give my will to her to prove I would love and protect her always. I would even be glad to be subservient if she wished it of me.
But Circumstance prevented that. And so it had to be the other way round. I was making Harriet my proprius and so I needed to be prepared to hurt myself a little.
ii) Kiss then pause
She almost ran as she led me up to her room. At the doorway, she stopped, turned and kissed me again.
"I love you," she said breathlessly as we came apart.
"You too," I replied, rather more calmly.
"I was so worried I'd done something wrong."
"My darling, you couldn't do something wrong if you tried."
She sighed. "Thank you."
"Let's go sit down," I suggested, gesturing to her bed.
She nodded and walked over, sitting cross-legged on the spot she'd occupied yesterday. Smiling, I joined and sat opposite her.
She took my hands and kissed them. "I missed you, Arthur."
"You too, Harriet." I pulled our hands down onto our laps. Then I leant in and kissed her.
I drew away very quickly and said "The pain was almost unbearable."
"Yes," she said, without hesitation, leaning in to restart the broken kiss.
I broke it again and gazed intently into her eyes, saying "I missed you so much."
"I missed you more." Her eyes flashed defiantly, like she was daring me to contradict her, I didn't and again she leant in to kiss me. And again, I drew back almost instantly.
"Arthur, I need you," she begged. There was desperation in her eyes. This time, she didn't kiss me. She was evidently afraid I would pull back once again. Instead, she clasped my hands very tightly and stared longingly into my eyes.
I didn't say anything, though the pain was how I imagined it would feel to have my heart slowly ripped to shreds.
"Arthur, you're torturing me! I can't do this - I can't stand the thought of not being with you. Please tell me you love me - please."
"I love you," I murmured, returning her gaze steadily.
"Then don't do this to me. I implore you."
In a quieter voice, she added "I would go on the floor, get down on my knees and beg you if it would make you stop."
And I knew that we had reached a point that would satisfy the requirements for the proprius-making.
I leant in and tenderly kissed her. She took a few seconds to return the kiss, checking I wasn't going to pull away again. It felt so good to finally indulge in a long kiss, full of love and representative of the emotions that formed our bond which we continually communicated to each other even when we were merely gazing into each other's eyes. It was so satisfying to hold Harriet tightly and protectively after the pain I had caused the both of us.
After the kiss, Harriet was silent. She looked thoughtful. Her fingers lightly caressed my palm which she had turned upwards. Her muscles were relaxed and her expression soft.
A Clarification of Result
To check that Harriet was now only content because I was at her house, I asked "Would you mind if I went home?"
Harriet snapped out of her contemplation.
"What?!" she asked, looking shocked. "You can't leave! I told you, Arthur: I need you!"
I smiled and said "Well, I guess I don't really have to go."
"Don't. Stay here for as long as you can."
END OF STEP 2
"I will stay. I promise," I said.
She calmed down immediately. She resumed her silent musing as if she hadn't been interrupted.
Silence was a good sign.
Of course in no way do I want to suppress the beautiful character of my girlfriend, but proprii generally are quiet. It's part of their submissiveness. I can always encourage Harriet to converse with me if I need to.
Back to what was happening in her bedroom:
I wondered what Harriet was thinking about so deeply...
I've guessed the point of these activities. And I don't resent Arthur at all.
I'm not even bitter about what's caused my acceptance of this (I realise Arthur has played a part in my becoming dependent on him).
So my thoughts turned to how I could help Arthur.
It sounds weird, doesn't it?
I remember something Michael once said: "... to be honest, who wants to be a proprius?"
Well, perhaps I do.
I was completely shocked when Harriet's gaze turned to me and she murmured "I know what this is doing to me."
Nervously, I waited for her reaction.
To my utter bewilderment, she gave me a small smile and said "I don't mind. I meant it when I said I needed you."
I smiled back, though still felt slightly anxious. I didn't really know what to say so I stroked her arm.
Harriet laughed and gave me a hug.
I slowly put my arms around her. I sighed contentedly as she rested her head on my shoulder.
"It won't hurt," I promised her.
"I trust you," she replied softly.
"Thank you," I murmured sincerely.
"You're welcome." She let go and pulled back. "Hey, is there any way I can help you?"
"Help me make you mine?" I asked in surprise.
Harriet nodded, smiling.
"Well... Wait, you really want to help?"
She chuckled. "Yes, I do, Arthur."
"You're incredible," I told her.
"And you're hilarious. Just tell me what I need to do. Unless..." Her face fell. "Unless my unawareness was helpful to you somehow."
"It doesn't matter," I said reassuringly. She cheered up. "The only thing unawareness might help you with is preventing the consideration of what exactly I'm doing to you. So the first thing I could ask you to do is not to think too much about the next few days and the things we do together - I'm going to be using suggestion a lot and I might even have to entrance you. So just leave me to it."
Harriet nodded. "Okay. Next?"
"Can I just say that it's incredibly weird discussing this with you? I don't think such a conversation has ever taken place before."
Harriet shrugged. "It was inevitable our love would cause something big to happen."
I smiled. "You're right. Right, next thing then. Hmm, ... okay. Are you okay with letting me do whatever I need to?"
"No," she said sarcastically. "I'm violently opposed to it - what d'you think, Arthur?!"
I laughed. "Okay. Well, the next thing you can do is be open to my suggestions, willing to let my intentions become reality and just generally tolerant."
"Okay... I think I get you."
"So if I look into your eyes, relax; if I speak to you hypnotically, listen - and I mean really focus when you listen; and if I take your hands in mine, calm down and respond to the slightest change in pressure."
Harriet looked very serious and almost captivated.
"And what do I do if you're being so intense I want to kiss you?" she asked softly.
I held her gaze and answered "Kiss me."
She leant in and our lips brushed, and suddenly I was so proud of Harriet and inspired by her desire to help me. I wondered what other girl would do this for her boyfriend but decided that Harriet was singularly amazing.
When we broke away, Harriet looked like I had taken her breath away. She stared at me wonderingly. I gazed back, awed as well, but I doubted that my feelings could ever match hers.
"I love you," we said simultaneously and then laughed.
Suddenly, Harriet yawned.
"Arthur, I do believe you've exhausted me."
I reached out and stroked her face. "Sorry, darling."
"No, don't worry about it." She lay down and asked "What else can I do for you when you're making me your proprius?"
I lay down beside her. "I guess the only thing left is keep loving me."
Harriet smiled. "That's not going to change."
I smiled back. "I'm glad."