It’s the evening and I’m chilling out in my room. It’s cosy and warm and smells faintly of the biscuits I have stashed in the cupboard for those comfort eating moments. And those ‘just a little peckish’ moments and those ‘food for thought’ moments and any time I feel like a biscuit really. I’m lying on my bed in my most comfortable joggers and a big t-shirt, twiddling a pencil between my fingers with my school folder in front of me. I told myself I’d spend the time writing an essay plan but nothing’s really coming to mind. I probably just need something to boost the creative juices. Biscuit? Why, yes that does sound a good idea! I’m chomping on ginger biscuit (mmm, nom nom) and my mind continues to wander.
And right as I’m reaching for another biscuit (or stopping myself reaching for another biscuit because I really shouldn’t eat so many) my phone rings.
Tuck hair behind ear, wipe crumbs off face, answer the phone.
“Hi Elena, is this a good time to talk?”
“I wouldn’t have picked up if it had been a bad time,” I smiled. “What did you want to talk about?”
“It’s about Suki.” He didn’t sound happy.
“I was just thinking about her actually. I couldn’t find her after school and she hasn’t been answering her phone. I’m worried about her. She’s seemed really troubled lately. I don’t usually push her to tell me what’s wrong; she always tells me when she’s ready anyway, but this seems different somehow. Do you know what’s bothering her?”
“I was going to ask you that same question. She’s been really distant recently and things have been kinda awkward between us. I’m not sure what to think, whether she wants to talk to me about it or if she wants me to leave her alone. It’s confusing, I don’t know what to do.”
“I did notice the atmosphere between you two has been a bit tense. Is this to do with you two sleeping together?”
“How did you know? Truth is, I wasn’t so sure about it. I was a bit nervous and not certain if we should or not, but she kept saying we’d been together for a long time and it was important ‘cause it was on our anniversary and all that. I couldn’t really object, and you know I wouldn’t refuse her anything…” I listened to what he said. It was a little different from Suki’s version of events. But not so different that it was unbelievable…
“It was just afterwards she became cold and indifferent. She only wanted to talk about it and we couldn’t even have a normal conversation anymore. On the one hand she’d be silent and moody, and on the other she wouldn’t leave me alone. It was like she’d suddenly developed a split personality overnight.”
“She talked to me about it. She was very… lucid,” I thought back to how she had been so flustered and happy when we’d chatted that day. “She’d also been worried about you two being unprotected. I mean, she didn’t want to get pregnant. She’s not on the pill or anything so there was always the risk of that.”
“She’s not pregnant though. She told me so. The thing is, I’m kinda afraid that this whole sex thing has changed things between us. It doesn’t feel like the same Suki I was dating before. It feels like I’m losing her and I don’t know what to do…” His voice shook just a little as he said it.
“Oh, David don’t think like that. You know how much you mean to her, there’s no way that that’d evaporate just like that.”
“I know, I know, it’s just… I’m not sure how much I do mean to her anymore.” There was a definite emotional quavering in his voice now. “The way she’s been treating me… It’s almost as if I hardly exist anymore. It’s almost as if she just wanted the sex…”
“David! You can’t honestly believe that? This is Suki we’re talking about!” I was shocked, even a little outraged that he’d even suggest something like that. This is Suki Darter.
“I know! That’s what I thought, what I think… What I used to think. I don’t know! Suki wouldn’t do that would she? I was afraid that she might even have been unfaithful… I’m ashamed to admit it almost…” I felt really bad. Really conflicted. I mean, this was my best friend he was talking about as if she were some maneating tart. But he was my friend too and he was so distressed… So sincere… So hurt…
“Okay. I’ll talk to her about it, how does that sound? I’m sure it’s all a big misunderstanding and this whole thing can be sorted out. You’re probably just stressed and blowing things up in your mind because you’re getting emotional and you love her.”
He sighed audibly. “You’re probably right Elena. I don’t mean to think all these horrid things, I just get so uptight. If she’d just answer my calls then maybe… I don’t know. You talk to her about it. It probably is just a big misunderstanding.” He sighed again. “Thanks Elena. I’m sure Suki wouldn’t do what I was thinking. I guess I was just being irrational. I’d be such a mess without a friend like you. I’ve gotta go but if you ever need anything, I’ll be waiting ok? Love ya, bye!”And just like that he hung up. And I had no idea what was going on anymore. Suki would never be unfaithful to David. I know she wouldn’t. But David doesn’t get that upset over nothing either. I don’t think he’s a good enough actor to sound that believable either. I lay in my bed, thinking hard. My hand reached for another biscuit.