The Column (Part 2)Mature

I woke up in a single bed with nobody next to me. Remembering I was single, I managed to get out of bed and dress without waking anybody up. Although this wasn't a massive achievement, I did quite like handling the small things first-thing.

And so, down the stairs to the kitchen. As I walked in I understood fully why I was sub-consciously dreading this moment. I had attempted to make a smoothie last night.

Now for those not in the know, I'm sure you'll be wondering why this is such a calamity. Keep it between you and me and the hundreds of other readers, but I don't really like smoothies all that much. That may be because of what happens when I try to make one, or just because they always but banana in it. Last time I made a smoothie, last night apparently, it went all over the ceiling and floor of the kitchen. Cleaning this up was not a nice job, as at least fifty species of fungus had managed to grow in the bio-hazardous environment that is my kitchen - several of which are new to science, I'm sure of it - and plenty of them found the smoothie as a good source of food. I didn't even drink the bloody thing!

So the kitchen didn't go so well. Perhaps outside would be better? I found myself in a metropolis of honking horns and exhaust fumes. I'm sure you have neglected to remind me about going to work every day on my bicycle but I remembered, so there's a start. I'm not going on it in this though.

In the car, listening to my favourite band. I won't mention their name as it will bring about controversial conversations or some crap like that. That's what my editor said. I hit every single red light on my journey. All the more time to listen to their songs. And sing along badly to them. A man shouts across the street at me to stop, so I sing louder.

And back home, after a rough day at work. I land in bed with a soft thud and instantaneously go to sleep. 

I think I preferred the first time around.

The End

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