Pit Happens

Dwarfs, Elves, Orcs, Undead Jesters and a Dragon of Irony. Welcome to the world of ridiculous. For thirteen years, the Four Kingdoms have remained united under the iron fist of King Bertrand. Suddenly - Goblins return to the world in huge numbers. The kingdom is in danger of being overwhelmed, unless one knight (and his squire) can discover the true secret of the kingdom and save the world from a mysterious Dark Lord. And what has Tuesday got to do with all this anyway?

Mert Olgun hated Tuesdays. Since his teenage years, Mert Olgun had often complained about the unequivocal pointlessness of Tuesday. On first glance, it appeared to be just an ordinary day slotted between Monday and Wednesday. That was why it infuriated Mert Olgun so much. It appeared to be an ordinary day slotted between Monday and Wednesday because that is exactly what Tuesday is. Mert's original objection to the day stemmed from the fact that nothing ever happens on Tuesdays. Consider Mr Olgun's argument - When has anyone ever achieved anything of note on a Tuesday? As if in response to this unexpected objection to its existence, Tuesday seemed to develop a hatred towards Mert Olgun. In fact, it seemed to take delight in inconveniencing its nemesis at every opportunity. Take this Tuesday for example, Mert Olgun had arrived for work on Tuesday morning in a shirt that was far too small because all of his other shirts were not yet clean. After a small argument with his wife over her cleaning abilities, Mr Olgun had stormed out of the house only to stumble over a rock and fall to the ground. Already in a foul mood, Olgun was informed upon entering his workplace - a mine, if you must know - that he would in fact be mining today. The reader might find it unusual that a man working in a mine is upset to learn that he will be mining, but Mert Olgun had not mined for six years since his promotion to a somewhat more comfortable office within the confines of the mine where he dealt with his co-worker's pay disputes. 

"We're a little short-staffed today." Olgun's superior admits upon questioning.

Olgun responds to this confession with silent acceptance. Mr Olgun long ago learnt that it is useless to fight against what he calls The Tuesday Effect, as Tuesday will have its way regardless. Until his promotion, Olgun had been amongst the best miners in his tunnel. However, six years of what he would describe as "The odd glass of port every now and then" had indeed taken their toll and Olgun had perhaps lost the build of a rugged, masculine miner. His return was welcomed with some enthusiasm from his former co-workers and to both his and their surprise he returned to his former job with vigour and growing enthusiasm. Once a miner, always a miner - thought Olgun as he began outmining miners who were some thirty years his junior. With relish, Olgun smashed another hole in the cavern and widened it. It seemed to be a lucky day for the miners. If there was hollow space behind the rock, it might mean precious ores and potentially even the ruins of an ancient civilisation. The widening chasm in the rock was quickly surrounded by his fellow miners who, like vultures, began to pick at the gap. Soon, it was large enough to poke a head through and Mert Olgun was given the honour. He peered through the gap and butted heads with a small, green creature that appeared to be attempting to look through the gap from the opposite side. The two were caught by surprise and stared wonderingly at each other for a long moment. Mert Olgun blinked. It was almost certain that he was staring at a supposedly long-extinct Goblin. And, as The Tuesday Effect dictated, this was undoubtedly a bad thing.

The End

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