Oh My God! I just can’t imagine I’m back here. Mom asked me “you are back to normal now aren’t you?” All I reply with is a sniff. She hugs me and that’s when I push her off. I don’t like her touching me, in fact I don’t like anybody touching me or hugging other than ‘you know who’. From now on I've decided to stop thinking bout her and I’m not going to take her name. I think that way it will be easier to get over her that way because she is so, so stubborn that I’ve lost all hope of her coming back to me or something similar.
Jess comes over and hugs me real tight. I just sob myself to sleep on her shoulder (didn’t get much sleep last night). She is THE best friend ever. She will be there for you like always and crack real lame jokes to make you laugh at lameness and not jokes and she will cry with you or help you cry. I think she is just awesome.
When I got up in the morning all I could do was think about was her and the chilled bottle of vodka in the fridge. Yeah, yeah I like chilled vodka. I think it tastes amazing.
Hick! I’m drunk, ha ha! Vodka is a boon. Oh my holy fucking lord, Jess is here. She is so going to kill me for this. Where can I hide the bottle? Under the bed I guess she wont even look under it; hopefully and ill act as if I’m sleeping. Yes, that’s perfect. I just love my brains even when I’m drunk and can’t walk straight. Oh fuck she’s in. She just touched my face and left. Thank the lord. I jump out of bed and get the bottle out and have a nice long sip. Ahh! This feels like heaven.
After a minute of my dancing crazy, Jess walks in, sees me having the last sip of the bottle and screams “Oh my holy fucking lord, you son of a bitch. You told me you won’t. I so knew it.” I scream back “Don’t tell mom please. She will send me back to that therapist. I so won’t ever. Please!” and then she screams out to my mom and then next I find myself at the asshole of a doc’s office.
“So what’s happening with you? I know there’s something up” asked that irritating piece of shit. I reply “nothing and even if something was I probably wont be telling you”. He replies to me saying that if nothing was up I wouldn’t be drinking a bottle of vodka in half and hour. I was an inch close to smacking him. I reply with a sniff “we have sort of taken time off and I don’t want to do that. I really do like her. I probably won’t fall in love again, ever” he just hmm-s. Now what is that supposed to mean? He asks me what’s wrong with me and then doesn’t even give some advice. What sort of therapist is he?
We talked about all the things Alex and I used to do, downing beers, head banging to metal, going to the beach at night to watch the tide change, having tequila’s with bonfire’s, rock climbing, going for long drives in her jeep, going for rides on my bike, talking about how many guys had tried hitting on us, listening to our song bout a million times in a day(god killed the queen- Louis XIV), going for concerts and just sitting in silence. All he said was hmm. I kept on describing her and things about her.
Time had come for me to leave (finally), but it actually felt nice to talk about Alex to someone older… someone who won’t object to her being my ex or my current. He was a real good listener. I think I like him. The saying is right ‘never judge a book by its cover’.