Making Mischief

The next day at work Wayne was filling out a report when the phone in his office rang. “Line C Management.” He said dryly.

“Hey it’s me.”

“Shane? How’d you get this number?”

“It’s a business you twit, it’s in the big yellow book, you know the one for business’ ?”

Wayne shook his head. “What do you want?”

“You didn’t come home last night I was worried. Where did you stay?”

It was obvious that Shane wasn’t concerned about Wayne’s wellbeing. He was a grown man after all, and could very well have rented a hotel room or stayed at another friends place. That’s what he’d say. He stayed at a friends place. “I stayed at a friends place.” He could hear Shane on the other end of the line laughing until he snorted violently.

“A friends place?” He said between bouts of laughter so loud that they caused the line to fill with static. “Wayne.” He caught his breath. “You do realize I’m your only friend.”

“No you’re not.”

“Oh yeah? Who’s this other friend.”

Wayne smiled with a devilish glint in his eye. “I stayed at Charlie’s”

“Charlie’s?” Shane asked, his tone saturated with confusion. “Who the heck is Charlie?”

“I’m telling you, I stayed at a friends place.”

“Huh.” Shane muttered, disappointedly. “I was hoping to hear some good news about Autumn.”

“Oh I’m not seeing Autumn anymore.”

“What? What do you mean you’re not seeing Autumn anymore? Are you crazy? She was hot!”

“Yeah well, she just didn’t turn out to be the person I thought she was.” Wayne was fighting with all his willpower not to burst into laughter.

“Really.” Shane commented, quietly from the other end of the phone. “That’s too bad, she seemed like a lot of fun.”

“I think I had a much better time with Charlie than I would have had with Autumn anyway.” He said, chuckling beneath his breath.

“Wait a second.”

“What?”

“What exactly did you do with this Charlie?”

“Oh I don’t think I should talk about that at work.”

“Wayne, you’re scaring me.”

“I can tell you I stayed at Charlie’s place, that’s about it.”

“Wayne … I’ve known you a long time. I’m your best friend. Ours is a strong bond. You can tell me anything, you know that right? I would understand if … Oh for Christ sake Wayne are you gay?”

“Well, I did sleep with Charlie last night. I don’t think that makes me gay though.”

“What!?”

A series of clunking sounds escaped the receiver and Wayne had to pull the earpiece away from his head. “You still there?” He heard muffled noises that sounded like someone yelling in the distance. The phone let out a few more clunking noises and then he heard Shane’s breath on the line. “Shane?”

“Why … Wayne, did you not tell me earlier? Man, I am your best friend! I can’t-” He stopped and took a few deep breaths. “When did you figure out you’re into guys?”

Wayne contemplated letting the cat out of the bag, but figured it would be far more amusing if he let it stand for at least the rest of the day. “Hey Shane, sorry to do this to you but I really gotta go. There’s something going on out on the floor that I have to take care of.”

“No Wayne, we need to have this talk. You‘ve been through some rough times lately, maybe you‘re just reacting badly to rejection. I’m sure the guys can deal with whatever the problem is.”

“I don’t know Shane, there’s a few guys bent over, all sweaty, struggling with a rod. I’m going to go give them a hand.” He heard Shane muffle the phone with his palm and let loose a few choice words. “Gotta go. Talk to you later!” He hung up and immediately burst into laughter until his abs were sore and his eyes were flowing with tears.

Once he calmed down and took in a few breaths, he finished the report and immediately returned to the other urgent matter at hand; finding an apartment.

The End

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