Reality Hurts

The very next day both of them had walked back into the carnival grounds, albeit this time Wayne was paying.

“I can’t believe you dragged me here when I’m sick.”

“Oh come on, you’re not that sick.”

“Wayne, I‘m sick.” He barked matter-of-factly. “Throwing up six times during the night is a pretty good indication of failing health.”

“I told you not to eat those corndogs.”

“You said no such thing. You were too busy going over all the things you could have done right with what’s-her-face.

“Her name was Shelly, thank you very much.”

“Yeah well. You have to admit. I told you you’d find another girl. I just didn’t expect you to drag me out here to…” He stopped, thinking for a moment.  “What the hell am I doing out here exactly?”

“You’re being a supportive best friend.” Wayne said, peering through the crowd at the bumper cars kiosk.

“I’m being an involuntary wingman is what I am.”

“A very special and important wingman that’s going to help me get a new girlfriend before I lose my mind.”

“Wayne. You’ve been single all of a week. Maybe you need a break from women.”

Wayne spun around. “Don’t you ever say that.” He said, scolding him in mock anger. He then turned and carried on through the crowd.

“Alright, so what’s the plan.” Shane said, finally filing his surrender to the reality of the situation.

“Well, I’ll do what’s always worked best for me.”

“Yeah and what’s that?”

“I’m going to walk up and introduce myself.”

“Alright. Then what?”

“Then, we’ll play it by ear.”

“Wayne, you do realize she works here.”


“And she’ll probably be leaving when the rest of the carnival leaves next Tuesday.”

Wayne mulled this over in his mind for a moment. “Well maybe that’s a good thing.”

“So what you’re going to finally have a one night stand?”

“No, I’m not that kind of guy.”

“Don’t worry, I’m well aware. Your idea of a short term relationship is three years and counting. Long distance is if you have to drive to get to her house.”

Wayne stopped and turned to him. “What are you getting at Shane?”

“My point is.” He stopped, thinking of a way to say it without hurting his friends sensibilities. He took a deep breath, realizing that there was no soft way to put it. “My point is that I think you’re on the rebound. I think you’ve always been on the rebound and that’s why your relationships don’t work. You’re getting interested in this girl that you’ve never met before and I know you! You’re not going to just have a short, meaningless relationship with her based on carnal pleasures alone. You’re going to do the opposite and wrap yourself into the whole thing as if she’s going to be there with you until the end of time.”

Wayne simply looked at him, aghast.

The End

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