She looked into my eyes and backed away. I could see the fear in her eyes, the confusion and hurt. But I don't care. She was the one who first dealt pain, and she is the reason I had to fight myself to keep the darkness buried inside. She didn't care about me, she couldn't have. If she had, she would have paid attention to me. She would have proven she cared about me!
I could see the confusion. She didn't understand. If she did, she didn't realize what she had done. I walked towards her, unable to stop myself. The anger and fury that filled me, I could feel it escaping from the confines of my core, seeping out of the cracks that she made. I could feel it coating my insides, turning everything black. The cold and ice expanding outwards from my still heart, filling my body with its touch. In my mind I tried to hold it back, to keep the ice from filling my mind and trapping me in this state forever.
My body stands in front of her, and I could feel the quickness of the beating of her heart. I could see every little detail of her, all of her strengths and weaknesses. Every little crack in her armor, every chink that I could attack. But I still had the smallest bit of control over my mind. the ice had been stopped, but I didn't know how long I could hold it back. I fought for all my worth to speak to myself, to guide the actions of my body.
The core. I could rebuild my core, and throw back up my walls. I could force my body to react to the laws of my mind, the morals and rules that I had always followed, never wavering. I could.. I had to.
Sending my focus away from what my body was doing, I threw all I could at the core of my being, the shining light that was the pure essence of who I was. I must rebuild the walls, quickly, for I could see the shadows and hate dipping in to the edges of my light. So I opened my mind, and remembered. I remembered all the pain, and I banished it. I accepted that I had hurt, and that there was no need to hold on to it. I accepted that I was also a cause of my own pain, and that I must not harm her. I must force myself away, that I could hide again from the world, and be who I once was.
With every thought and memory I could see the walls growing again. I could see the pain sliding back, and becoming lighter. I could see the walls thickening, and growing more dense. They grew and grew until they were as the once were, and continued upwards and out. They became so immense, that they pushed the darkness back, back into the deepest crevasses of my mind.