I found myself standing alone on the beach Ant had died on a year ago.
The assembly in his honor had made me and a few others cry, wishing he was still with us. Mr Thompson talked about how Anthony was an inspiration to many and that he would always be missed. For the younger years, he talked of the dangers of the water. This got me thinking. Anthony's death was so stupid, so not right. He was a perfect swimmer, had he not battled the strong currents half an hour before he died? And with me?
I sighed. There had to be another reason.
That was why I am here now, standing on the beach. To work out why he would let the current take him. Something flashed in my memory.
"It's just not worth it, anymore Tess. I might as well leave here." He had been glancing at the island just before we set off for it. Back then, I had presumed he meant he didn't want to go swimming.
Looking back now, it seems perfectly plausible that he mean life was not worth it. I remembered how he had put all his effort into his school work because he had nothing else left for him. He had no girl friend. No family who loved him. A tiny house with five siblings. No life. And I, as the only girl he had ever loved, had rejected him. He even asked me if I loved him five minutes before that girl screamed.
If I had told him that I did love him, would he still be alive.
It was my fault Anthony died. Mine.
Oh, if only I could take it back.