The Bible Salesman

My life as a Bible salesman. I've sold bibles to carnies, clowns, shriners, plumbers, church groups, and zoos. That's about it. Oh, I also like to dismember my customers.

I got tired of my job selling bibles to carnies. Very much seasonal work with little monetary reward. And they smelled awful. Cigarettes and porkfat..

Sometimes I'd meet a young, impressionable woman of maybe 16, and I'd skillfully lead her away from the show to the back of my van, where I would show her my collection of Bibles.  Inevitably, she'd say the wrong thing and make me angry.  After I'd dismembered her, I'd leave the remains in the carnies' RV's. Funny how none of them ever  noticed.

Yes, I knew carnies better than any man. I knew their habits, their stereotypes, their likes and dislikes. Did you know carnies have a professional organization? I didn't until I started selling them Bibles and dismembering them.

Eventually though, I tired of the whole disreputable undertaking.  Carnies never really were interested in Bibles, and I was rapidly thinning the herd, further shrinking the market.

So I sold the van to a Christian Youth Group in Decatur.  I threw in the Bibles for free.

The End

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