Sliding on my shirt I got off the bed. I looked around and she was still asleep. I began to walk out and then I heard her stir. Great. “Come back to bed Chris” she called out. She sat up and wrapped the blanket around her.
“Actually, I have to go” I said and continued to walk out. I began to reach for the doorknob but it was already turning. Uh-oh. A big hulking guy came through the door. He had to be six foot six at least. I was six feet but this guy had to look down at me the same way I looked down at children. He had huge muscles, the same of probably a wrestler or those people who pulled semis with a rope.
“Why are you in my room?” His voice was deep and husky, kind of reminded me of Darth Vader.
“Room service?” I smiled and he glared at me. His fists began to ball. “If it makes you feel any better she wasn’t that good anyways.” He glared and hit me full on in the stomach. All the air escaped me and my insides felt like they just got hit by a truck. He was about to hit me again. “Wait! There’s a midget in the closet. Get him before he runs away.”
“Why is there a midget in the closet?”
“Your girlfriend is kinky.” I smiled.
“No problem.” As he walked over to the closet I opened the door and ran as fast as my legs could take me. I ran down the hall for what seemed like forever and turned into a lobby when I finally saw the elevators. I heard thumping behind me and I repeatedly and desperately pressed the button. The thumps were getting closer. “Come on, come on” I was shaking, and finally the doors opened with a ding. I pressed the 1 button and then the close door button. The doors began to close and he was in sight. I flicked him off and then the doors closed before he had a chance to stop it. I breathed out, as my heart rate slowed down. I grasped the cold bars in the elevator and wiped the sweat from my forehead. The doors dinged again and a petite blonde was outside the doors.
“Hey” I smiled and she returned the smile. A man came around the corner and he was again more built than me.
“Hey” the guy mocked and the smile immediately disappeared off my face. I just nodded and stared at the doors after they got on. When we finally got to the first floor I walked off the elevator without looking back at the blonde. I walked outside whistling, grateful I made it outside alive. I opened the door to my black Challenger and smiled. Today was going to be a good day. I sped off to my new apartment, pumped for whatever lied ahead.
I grabbed the box out the passenger seat and headed up the stairs. First thing I noticed when I walked in was there was way too much gold. Seriously, I know they’re trying to be fancy but this is ridiculous. I walked to the elevator and pressed the button awaiting my elevator. There was a ding and then the doors opened. I hummed as the elevator took me to floor 9, once the button was pressed. The doors opened to reveal even more over the top decorating. There was Old Persian carpet that covered the floor. This looked like a bad Mirada. I heard muffled voices from my apartment. My roommate was already here; I shrugged and opened the door. I saw two girls and one guy on the couch and a couple in the kitchen. The guy in the kitchen was probably my roommate.
“Hey I’m Chris. Looks like I’m rooming with you dude” I smiled as he looked up. The girl standing close to him had whipped her head around and had this horrified look on her face after I said that. I almost laughed at the face she was making.
“No, Sam’s my boyfriend. Clearly there’s a mistake.” That’s when she looked me from head to toe. She looked disgusted at me judging me; oh this is going to be fun having a stuck up for a roommate. I narrowed my eyes at her as she looked at me like a piece of gum she stepped on. She had long brown and blonde hair. She was wearing shorts and a fancy white tank top. She was slender, with curves in all the right spots, her rack was kind of small but she was doable. She had a small nose and a somewhat small face. She had skinny legs with some muscle to it, probably an athlete or at least someone who definitely worked out. I would normally say she was hot except the way she was judging me. Before I could say anything she was outside calling for the Apartment supervisor.
“Is she always like that?” I asked, Sam, and he nodded almost instantly, and he began to rub his face with his hand.
A blonde lady came back and asked for my I.D. I pulled out my wallet and showed her my I.D. to prove I wasn’t in the wrong room. She smiled flirtatiously at me and I smiled, showing a full set of teeth, she blushed and then turned her attention back to the stuck up. I was irresistible, and that smile always worked. Sometimes I didn’t have to say anything it was the looks, the muscles or even the height that attracted women.
“Frankly, we don’t have any rules, guidelines about male and female rooming in together since you’re a Wilson grant student. Or just a student, over eighteen. You’re a grown adult, this is college, get over it. So you’re going to suck it up, deal with the roommate you clearly hate, because there are no rules in this state, or at this school that say that living with a male is bad. No trades, no exceptions, no objections. Have a great day” she giggled and walked off.
The look on my roommates face… priceless! She glared at me and all I did was smile, I knew I was going to get entertainment out of torturing her. Her boyfriend who had been looking desperate to get her attention called her name.
“What? What is it Sam!” she snapped. Oh man, she really is like that all the time. I don’t know how he deals. I almost give him props.
“I’m just going to say it and not sugarcoat it. It’ll be like ripping off a Band-Aid. I think we should date other people. You and I aren’t working anymore. I’m already dating someone else." Oh man, I wish I had some popcorn right now. I have never thought seeing someone’s life crumble apart in front of them would be this… amusing. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her friend get off the couch. Oh, no please don’t tell me. I wanted to look away so badly so I didn’t smile at this but I couldn’t stop watching.
“I’m sorry you had to find out about this, this way Zoey” Cassandra frowned as she looked at Zoey. Ha-ha, oh man where is the popcorn? This is better than a movie. If she wasn’t so stuck up, I’d feel bad for her... well just a little. But the second she judged me like that, all respect and possibility for friendship went out the window.
“My best friend?” And this was her best friend, priceless.
“I’m so sorry. I still want to be friends.” Sam said and tried to hug her. Big mistake, if he gets castrated, I’ll give him the ice for trying. She only pushed him away, kind of figures. A stupid move on his part, a courageous one, but stupid, even I would have known better.
“Just get out.” She didn’t even look up; she just stared at the floor. Probably from shock. Eh, it’s what you get for being stuck up.
“Zoey” her friend began. Really? Ah, so she’s stupid too, now I see the connection. Twiddle Dee, I looked at Sam, and twiddle Dum, I looked at her friend. And they said only opposites attract.
“Get out!” she screamed loudly at them. My ears rang a little at the sound.
“Wow, Zoey, the least you could have said was thank you for moving your stuff.” Ha-ha, truly, twiddle Dum fits her. I saw something in Zoey’s eyes snap and her other friend already had an arm around her waist. That’s what this is! An episode of Jerry Springer! I get to watch Jerry Springer live! Beautiful. The couple ran out the room slamming it behind them. She continued to fight the friends grasp but she eventually quit. She got down on the ground and started crying. Not the tears, come on, I cannot stand crying. Girls, all of them, emotional. I think mine is just bipolar. For a while, she sobbed hard and it was like nails on a chalkboard. Goosebumps arose and the hairs on my neck stood up. My ears were dying. I’m surprised they haven’t started bleeding. I sat down on the couch and covered my head with a pillow until it stopped. I heard someone talking but I didn’t hear the words clearly. I uncovered my head and smiled at the no sobbing environment.
As she headed to my direction, words flew out my mouth before I had a chance to think about them. “Dude that just has to suck” I said. She ignored me as she walked by, but I knew she heard me. They disappeared into a room and closed the door behind them. I shrugged, oh well, I didn’t mean to say it; if she says something I’ll just fake an apology and call it a day. She doesn’t hate me, at least not yet.
I dropped the box off in my room and then I walked back to the couch. I heard some giggling coming from her room and I rolled my eyes. Bipolar much? I looked around the room and saw how fancy it was. I miss my old plain apartment. The adequately furnished one. The door opened and I groaned, is she going to cry, yell, laugh, what? I’ll never know what to expect. I sighed and watched her cautiously. Her friend watched me and followed Zoey closely, kind of like a lost puppy. “I’m Chris” and I got up from the couch to shake her hand. She’s probably one of those girls who will go out and destroy her ex’s most loved belongings, who will castrate him in his sleep. As her roommate, I worried about mine. Maybe I shouldn’t torture her. Nah, I’ll just lock the door. I stuck out my hand and she studied it. It’s a hand, get over yourself.
“I’m Zoey” she said as she finally shook my hand.
Thirst hit me and I didn’t want to be around her any longer. “Hey did you bring any beers, I’m thirsty” I told her and then I walked to the kitchen. I scratched the crotch of my jeans and I felt as though I was being watched. I looked up stopping mid scratch to two horrified expressions. “What?” I asked. Their mouths were open and their eyebrows were raised. They rolled their eyes and tried to play it off as they walked to the door. “Oh you saw me scratching myself. Hey, if I got an itch, I’m going to scratch it. You’ll get used to it roommate” I smiled and she groaned, hey at least I was honest. As she turned back I got a brilliant evil idea to torture her with. Give her a taste of her own medicine. “Wait, Zoey right?” I called and they stopped. I walked towards her grinning; I knew I was going to hell for this. “You got a little something right here” and I took the hand I used to scratch my crotch with and wiped her face with it. “Enjoy” she rubbed her face as though that would help any. Brilliant, I give myself kudos. They walked out and slammed the door behind them. Oh, you’re bad to the bone, and with that, I rolled my eyes. I grabbed my keys off the counter and drove out to the nearest bar and then called my friends so we could have a drinking night.
Twenty minutes later, my best friend, Lexi showed up. I waved at the bartender and he gave us two beers. She sat on the stool next to me. “So what’s your roommate’s name? You guys bros now?” She joked around with me but I took a gulp of my beer at the thought of Zoey.
“Zoey and no we are not bros” I told. She raised an eyebrow at me.
“His name is Zoey, isn’t that like a chick’s name?”
“Her name is Zoey, and yes that’s a chicks name because a chick owns it” I didn’t mean to take my frustrations out on Lexi but Zoey, even though I loved annoying her, she got under my skin.
“Alright Mr. Grumpy, well is she nice?” I raised an eyebrow at Lexi for that question. “So that’s a no? Why not? Aww, you got denied for sleeping with her.” She laughed and drank a little of her beer.
“No, she’s stuck up and bipolar. Within five seconds she had already judged me and tried to have me switched with someone else.” I took another drink of the beer.
“How is she bipolar? And sounds like you got a real sweetheart on your hands” she sarcastically said as an attempt to amuse me.
“She was angry, then depressed and crying, then happy and laughing, and back to depressed.” She gave me a blank stare, meaning I had to explain. “Okay so her boyfriend dumped her and told her he’s been with her best friend for a while so she kicked them out while trying to fight the best friend. Angry. Then she just started sobbing hardcore on the floor, knees to the chest. Depressed. Then her and her other best friend went to her room. A few minutes later I heard laughter and giggling. Happy. When she leaves the room, she’s depressed again. And I know just by the amount and volume of the laughter that both of them were laughing.” Lexi mouthed an O and drank some of her beer.
“She just got heartbroken; of course she’s going to be a wreck. Just because she’s experiencing feelings doesn’t mean she’s bipolar. And this just proves how much of a douce you can be.” She smiled and hit my arm; she was being honest but still joking at the same time.
“Look, she’s bipolar. End of story. She may be hot but she’s cuckoo for cocoa puffs.” Lexi rolled her eyes at me.
“Well, how are you going to survive with your ‘bipolar’ ‘cuckoo for cocoa puffs’ roommate” she asked and I smirked deviously at her.
“I’m going to give her a taste of her own medicine. She immediately said I was scum, and tried to kick me out. That doesn’t work for me. So I’m going to give her hell, and get payback for being stuck up. She’ll learn the hard way why people shouldn’t be stuck up. She thinks I’m scum, fine; I’ll be the scum she thought I was. Karma.”
“That sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. And karma? Really, you doing this to her, you know the kind of karma that you’re going to get for this. Why don’t you be the bigger man and suck it up. Showing her the real person you are is going to be a lesson for her.”
“Nah. I like torturing her.” I already had made up my mind; there was no changing it now.
“Sounds like World War 3” someone said behind me. I turned to see Chase, Zack, and Ryan standing behind me. Ryan smiled at me after he said that.
“Ryan, I’m glad you said that, don’t you agree that I would win?” I smiled and looked at Lexi.
“Of course! Give her a taste of her own medicine. She’ll wish she never tried to kick you out.” Ryan said. He gave me a high five and Zack shook his head. From looking at the way Zack was standing I could tell he was already drunk.
“This is a disaster waiting to happen” Zack groaned. Wow, way to support me and here comes the ‘pep’ talk. “Someone is going to end up hurt. Is she really going to learn anything when you just act like the guy she thought you were? What is that really going to prove? And to act like this after she got dumped the way she did? That’s childish and immature. The girl is already hurt, why don’t you not add to it. And what happens if somewhere along the lines you begin to like her, any chances you will get will be destroyed because you wanted to be a douche. But that’s cool, you hurt her and you feel great because you got a little entertainment out of it. And when it happens to you, one day when you end up just as hurt as she is? I hope that then you will learn your lesson.” Zack gulped down the rest of my beer, in frustration at me. I just rolled my eyes. I am never going to get hurt. I don’t like girls, I just have one night stands with them, relationships are pointless and love doesn’t exist. Hurting her isn’t going to faze me because it’s not going to affect me. Zack's words never really had an effect on me when he was wrong or especially when he was as drunk as he is now.
“No one’s going to end up hurt. I’m not going to like her. I’m not going to get rejected if I’m not going to go after her. She’s going to learn a lesson. Everyone needs to calm down. It’s not that big of a deal.” I was tired of having to justify myself.
“You are going to fall for her, or at least like her. Two people who annoy each other can’t live together without developing some sort of feelings. Especially when they like to annoy each other and not to mention, you said she’s hot, which are two more reasons why this will end up badly. You’ve admitted you found her attractive. Like I said before, two people living together with attraction and liking to get on each other’s nerves is a recipe for disaster. And as much as I love you like a brother, I hope she breaks your heart.” Zack finished his rant and another beer, thank god, I love him like a brother but I didn’t want parenting and to be lectured.
Who knew alcohol got the truth of how people really feel out. Shrugging it off I ordered another beer and we talked about anything other than my stuck up roommate. I don’t think I could handle another one of Zack’s rants without punching him in the face. Friends, gotta love them.