The Beardians

Beard is a very real place as are the Beardians. and while they may have thought they were an isolated part of the world of Human, you will see here that there were a few who escaped to knee. So, a history may be in the future. But not for Hamish...

Hamish Beard woke up assuming this would be like any other day. Accordingly, he strapped himself to one of the many bristles he owned and prepared himself for the inevitable flood.

Life wasn’t easy in the city of Beard. Its landscape was similar to that of a thick rainforest with closely spaced, constantly growing, reed-like bristles taking up most of the 12 square inch city boundary.

Hamish himself was in his second year in Beard and knew nothing of his heritage. In fact, Hamish was becoming increasingly confident that he was an original settler of Beard and might even be the very first one — but he’s likely never know. The Beardians are a solitary bunch and like to stay close to their own bristles.

The familiar woosh of water was getting closer and closer, until Hamish was soaked in the backsplash from the waterfall. Timing it perfectly, he held his breath while the city was submerged in water, anxiously as ever waiting out the five second dousing. The submergence stopped and Hamish spit out the water he had taken on and waited to drip dry.

Hamish looked over at his neighbour Amos and saw that he hadn’t quite managed to strap himself in securely and was now struggling to hold on to a pair of lubricated bristles.

“Help me Hamish!” he screamed. But there was no way for Hamish to un-strap himself and make it over to Amos in time. Amos, like many Beardians before him, was about to lose his life to the all powerful water god Drain.

Hamish knew that as soon as the city levelled off, he would have to take a chance on the slick surface to get over to Amos’ property and claim what little food he had lashed to the ground around his bristles. Hamish could distinctly remember Amos storing a piece of peanut only the day before. Peanuts were common in the winter and with spring approaching he thought he’d better get while the getting was good.

Food accumulation and storage was difficult in Beard. When food found its way into Beard, you had to be quick to pick it up and even quicker to fasten it to the ground. Because every time something arrived, the giant cloth would make a swipe through the bristles and attempt to claim the food back.

Hamish waited for the expected levelling off sensation and then unbuckled himself and began walking through the red-tainted bristles to where he had seen Amos fall from. The ground was an irritated red where Amos had made a last ditch effort to hold on and was leaking red liquid. Hamish had seen this before and knew to stay away from the blud.

He tiptoed around it to where he remembered the peanut being placed the day before. Aha! The peanut stood there, trapped between s clusters of curly bristles, nothing a Hamish’s fingers couldn’t work through. If he was correct about the time of day, he had about five minutes before the next tie down.

He feverishly went about loosening the peanut as he prepared for the jostling that normally came after the flood.

But there was no jostling today. Something must be wrong he thought. Then he heard the waterfall again. I’m too far away from my straps! I’m going to have to try Amos’! His heart was racing a mile a minute as he put one arm then the other into the loopholes created out of bristle. I won’t have time for my legs so I’m just going to have to hold on.

As he became fully soaked, he held his breath, expecting to go right under the waterfall. But it never came. Instead he was bombarded with massive splashes, the huge impact nearly dislodging him from his hold.

Then suddenly it stopped. Hamish looked down at lord Drain and saw many Beardians lying broken in a heap by his mouth. What is happening to us he wondered.

Then came something he had never experienced before, First he heard a muffled voice that seemed to come from the heavens, “Yes, you have to shave that thing off! It’s our wedding!”

Shave? Wedding? What do these words mean he wondered. And before he could ask anyone about it, he was covered in a white foam that smelled more beautiful than anything he had ever smelled. Maybe this won’t be as bad as I thought it was going to be, Hamish hoped, taking deep breaths of the foam that was covering his upper body.

Then another event he had never seen before. Two razor sharp blades began scissoring their way through the ends of all the bristles, letting in an amount of light he would never have thought possible. Then looking straight out past the end of the newly shorn bristles, he saw himself standing amongst what was left of the forest in a shiny object that also gave him perspective on where the city of Beard stood in relation to the rest of the country of Human.

As Hamish saw the village of Hand start making its way toward him with what looked like the sharpest piece of metal he had ever seen, he wished he hadn’t remained so stubbornly in Beard when a group of his peers decided to move to Knee three months ago. And as the blade made a series of clean swipes, the city gradually became smaller and smaller until all that remained was Hamish and peanut.

And as his body was cut up by the sharp blade he felt no pain and vanished with all his city people with one thought ringing true: I will never abandon you city of Beard.

The End

7 comments about this story Feed