Rupert ran for 1 minute but was exhausted so he got the bus to Lance's house. He jumped off at his stop but then realised he had got off too early so he walked the rest of the way. He knocked on the door of Lance's house but there was no answer. 'I need to get in' he thought to himself. Then, one of the most uncommon events of the 21st Century occurred. Rupert had an idea. A good one. Lance was such an old fashioned fool, that he was sure to leave a spare key somewhere. He checked under the gnome. He checked in the peg bag in the outside toilet. He checked under the doormat. Nothing. Walking slowly backwards to get a better  view of how to break into Lance' house, he fell over what he thought was an innocent rock. It wasn't. As he fell the rock moved with him and flipped over a few times. As it spun, it appeared to be hollowed out enough for some keys, for example, to be hidden. Rupert landed on his bum and examined the rock. 'Ouch', he thought. He appeared to be sitting on something  spiky. It was Lance's spare keys.

"Alright!" cried Rupert exuberantly, receiving some weird looks from passers by. He looked at the set of keys again.

"God dammit!" he cried again, equally as exuberantly, receiving even weirder looks from different passers by. There were about 50 different key on the the loop; it would take him years to figure out which one fitted the front door!

One hour later, Rupert was in Lance's house, looking around, and trying to remember  what all the good PI's did in this situation. He thought back to the handbook - The Ultimate Guide To Private Investigating. He could remember one part of the book about searching the victim/ suspects house. This is what it said.

When you are in the midst of a crime, it is important to go back in time (not literally). This means that you should go back to the victim/ suspects house and search for clues about why they were victimised or why they comitted the crime. Here are some pointers.

- Do not move anything around or touch anything. This could cover up fingerprints or important evidence.
- Look for anything that it out of place or looks suspicious. This may lead to clues.
- Check for any CCTV or sonic devices that could suggest that the victim has been watched/ bugged.
- Build up a background of the suspect/ victim to use for later investigating.

'Oops' thought Rupert to himself. He had already made two bits of toast with jam on them, done the washing up and been to the loo. He looked around, his untrained mind unable to see anyting suspicious or anything that had a remote chance of being CCTV cameras. He walked into Lances bedroom and saw a business card on the table. He picked it up, and cursed again (he had broken rule number 1 (again)). He read the card.

Sir Lance Alotus' Wine Limited.
Get The Best Quality Wine At The Best Quality Prices.
Call 01212 506413 For More Information

Rupert was puzzled. Lance sold wine? That was news to him. Then the second most uncommon event happened. He had another idea. A good one. But not for Lance.

Lance sold wine. About 100 people died at an event in which Lance didn't attend. They died because the wine was poisoned. Lance sold wine. He didn't go because he didn't want to get poisoned himself. This was all making sense now. 'Hang on', he thought. Why did Lance invite him if he was going to kill everyone. 'No?' he thought. 'Lance wanted to kill me.'

Rupert was in shock. But he was still confused. He thought back to the handbook. There was a section on accusing suspect. He had only read it because he wanted to say something like 'Rupert Moranne, you are under arrest on suspicion murder' or something like that. But all it had said was this.

Accusation. That's a pretty big thing. But before you start saying things like 'You are under arrest on suspicion of murder', you need to answer some vital questions:


You have to make sure you have the right man/ woman/ other creature. That's the who part. What, is the crime. Make sure you have evidence that they did it. When, is obviously when did the crime happen. Make sure that you have proof that they were there. Where, is where did the crime take place. Make sure you have proof that they were at that place or had access to that place. Criminals have alibi's who claim that the suspect was somewhere completely different. Why, is the hard one. Why the did the criminal do it? What were his/ her motives? If you can't find a single motive, then you may have the wrong man/ woman. How,is how did they do it? Weapons, break-in points, and things like that.
It is also handy to question the suspect so you can find out who helped them.

Rupert thought about this. Who? Lance. What? Poison a room full of the most respectable PI's in the country. When? About two hours ago. Where? L'Hotel Magnifique. Lance had access all right if he was the wine dealer. Why? Not one clue. And how? Well, he must have poisoned the wine prior to it being delivered.

Rupert was convinced Lance had done it. 5 out of 6 questions well and truly answered. As for his motives? Rupert could only guess. Maybe he did it so that he could become the best PI in the England. Weird and not at all like Lance, but it was the only lead he had. He had to take action. And fast. He dialled 999.

"Hello? Police and fast. God dammit i will not be put on hold. Finally, a human voice. Yeah. I know who killed all of them people at the hotel on Duke of Wales Road. Yes. It was Sir Lance Alotus."

The End

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