The Adventures of Rupert Moranne

"Hey, this is Rupert Moranne, wassup?"

"Hello Rupert. It is I, Sir Lance Alotus."

"Oh hey dude. Hows it going man?"

"You will have to excuse me. How is what going?"

Rupert sniggered. Lance was so behind the times it was unbelievable. It was like he was from about 1893 the way he talked, and his dress sense wasn't up to much either.

"Don't sweat it, Lance. Never mind," he said trying to contain his laughter but all it did was make his voice squeaky.

"I can thouroughly assure you that i am not sweaty" exclaimed Lance in his overly posh English accent.

"I didn't mean - oh never mind. So, what's bringing you to call me mate" sighed Rupert.. Sometimes, Lances backwardness was very frustrating. But for the moment, he could put up with the annoying accent and word choices.

"Well, there is a very sophisticated social event for only the most respectable Private Investigators in the country tonight."

"Yeah, whatever. Thanks for letting me know. Don't ya just love rubbing it in that i'm the worst PI in the history of PI's. I know i won't get an invite, unlike Sir 'best PI in the world' Lance".

"I am most grateful for your most profound compliment; however, you are undoubtfully incorrect in your immediate assumption that you are uninvited." said Lance, rather pompously.

"Hold up for one minute. I have an invite? Me? No way!" Rupert was shocked. Him? A respectable PI? "There's gotta be some kinda mistake. I aint respectable!"

"Ah. No. You in your own right are not a respectable figre in the noble work of private investigating. Myself however. That is simply a whole different kettle of fish".

"So how come i got invited then dude?" Rupert was confused. A PI as he was; this didn't make any sense to him at all.

"You didn't get invited. Your grammar for one, is disgraceful, hardly a respectable value. All invited Private Investigators are authorized to bring one associate, providing of course that the guest themselves are in the business."

"And you picked me?? What the hell did you do that for?" Rupert was shocked. Why would Lance bring him over a more esteemed colleague. There was a long silence.

"Watch your obscenities." stammered Lance after a while, unable to answer Ruperts question.

"Wait man, i said - hang on. You picked me because you didn't have any one else to take. I'm your last resort." Rupert was sort of appalled, but also kind of pleased that at least he hadn't been immediately dismissed.

"Apologies, my dear friend. You were, as you said, my last resort as such. However, i am not ashamed to take you to the social gathering." Lance sounded defiant that that was the case; as if he was trying to convince himself.

"Alright, then mate. Yeah. I'll be there".

"Splendid. I shall meet with you at precisely eight o'clock at the prestigious L'Hôtel Magnifique on the Duke of Wales Road."

"Alright then mate. See ya there!"

"Yes. I shall certainly see you there my good friend."

"Later dude"



The End

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