Charles, Ninja Penguin Derek's Polar bear, was sleeping in his section of the igloo, curled up on a killer whale rug. His alarm clock went off and he awoke, slamming his large front paw into the alarm clock and waltzed into Derek's room. No I'm not using "waltz" for writing flare, I mean he literally grabbed a broom and did a waltz on his way to Derek's room, he's surprisingly light on his feet for a large bear. When he got to Derek's room, he dropped the broom and got down on his four paws again. He put his snout near Derek's face and yawned, except his yawn was a loud ice shattering roar. Derel jumped into the air and hit the roof of his igloo, getting stuck in the roof.
"Raawr-bloor-rooooooooorio," said Charlie. Translation : Stupid Penguin.
"Charlie! You need to brush your teeth!" said Derek once Charlie had pulled him out of the roof. He waddled into the kitchen and Charlie went outside for his morning . . . er, relieving of himself. . . if you understand what I mean. If you don't, tough.
Derek got into his kitchen and took his only mug from his only table and looked at his kettle and cold coffee maker. Coffee or Tea? he asked himself.
He decided to make a list of pros and cons of each.
Tea Pros: Yummy, refreshing, easy to make
Tea Cons: I have to actually make it, sometimes turns out bad
Coffee pros: The machine does it for me!, really yummy and super refreshing.
Coffee cons : is bad for you, can yellow your teeth and bad breath, I still have to do some work.
Derek was practically driving himself mad with this decision! He couldn't decide! He was about to make a decision when his front door was burst through.
"HEY BROTHER!" cackled a deranged penguin from the door.
"Kered," gasped Derek.
"WAZZUP SUCKA!? DON'T YOU WANT TO GREET YOUR BROTHER!?" Kered started running around the house, screaming like a maniac, "WOOOO!! YOUR IGLOO'S AWESOME!! WHAT'CH'YA UP TO!?" Then, Kered came running in and did the best and worst thing ever.
He stole all of the coffee.
I know, it's horrible. I just heard your collective gasps as you read this in the future, even though I'm in the past, but I can hear you because people are already gasping at how horrible it is and they don't even know it's happened yet. Then, when you do read this, the earth will shatter from your gasps! I know, awesome.
Derek was faced with a serious dilema now. Or was he? He took a step back from the empty coffee machine and the kettle, staring at them and listening to Kered screaming in the distance as he ran off with the coffe and Derek realized.
Kered had made his choice for him. Today, the world's greatest ninja is having tea for breakfast. Oh yeah.
Penguina comes over to Derek's house for a nice dinner, but when Derek asks her, "Do you want Kool-Ade or Coke to drink?" the wretched Kool-Ade man bursts through derek's door with his famous "Ohh YEAH!". Will Penguina choose the Kool-Ade for dinner, or the coke?