Derek and The Killer Whale : Now with Translations!

"OH MY GOD!" screamed Derek as he flew through the air after just being catapulted by his biggest enemy, The Killer Whale.

"Muuuuurraaaahhhh-blaaaa" screamed the Whale, once again in hot pursuit of the Ninja Penguin as he landed in the water and dove down to swim away from the whale.

Well, before we get to the good stuff, let's recap shall we?

It was a chilly arctic morning, Ninja Penguin Derek was sitting at his table, reading "The Daily Mackerel" and sipping some iced tea, because, lets be real, nothing stays hot in the Arctic. Anyways, back to Derek. As he was reading through "The Dail Mackerel," or "The Mack-Diddy," for short, he came across a peculiar article.


Derek stared at the headline and thought aloud.

"I wonder what penguin stew tastes like! Probobaly a little tangy, maybe a little sweet too. I must make some some ti-" just then, Derek's pet Polar Bear smacked him upside the head.

"Murr-flaaaaaaa" he said. Translation : How are you thinking about making penguin stew, which by the way is cannibalism, when your biggest enemy THE KILLER WHALE is on the lose again? Polar Bears are very efficient in their wordings.

"Oh, right," Derek slumped of his chair and waddled over to his closet. He slipped on his ninja outfit and turned to his Polar Bear again, who's name is Charles. "does this belt make me look fat?" he asked, stretching in front of Charles.

"Raaawr-mlaaaaaa-gdoooooooo-beeeeee-Raaaaaawr" replied Charles, rolling his large Teddy Bear eyes. Translation : No.

"Ok, Thanks," Derek ran from his house and plunged down the icey hill beside it, rocketing towards the ice cold waters of the Arctic. On his way, he ran into a bunch of Walrus' and he had to slow down to get through them.

"Excuse me, Pardon me, Could I just, Thank you," Derek wiggled through the walruses until he got fed up with it, "MOVE YOUR FAT TUSKED BUTTS!" he cried, becoming extremely impatient. The ice around him started to crack and all of the walruses fell into the water with a howl, "Thank you Global Warming,"

And now, we are at our present situation. Derek is in the icy waters being chased by a Killer Whale.

"Bleeeeee-blaaaaaaaa-goooooooo" said the whale, coming after Derek. Translation : Not liable to say.

"Watch your mouth!" Derek yelled back through the water as he darted around ice bergs and other swimming penguins. He got a few whistles as he swam by the women's synchronize swimming team and he stopped to give them his "come-hither" look. They giggled and he continued swimming.

Turning to look at the Whale, Derek stuck out his toungues and put his flippers by his ears, waggling them just as the Whale sped up, but when he turned around, it was too late. Derek ran smack dab into an ice berg and the Whale followed suit, it's Jaws open wide.

"AHHHHH!" screamed Derek, waiting for the sharp teeth of the Whale to rip through his flesh, but, alas. He escaped, unscathed! Derek opened his eyes and saw a large toungue inside a dark mouth staring him in the face. he said a quick hello and darted carefully out of the whale's mouth, edging around it's teeth.

"Mlaaaa" mumbled the Whale, but it's pleas did not faze Derek. He quickly took out his whip and slashed it against the bottom of the iceberg, causing the whale to sink with the iceberg still attatched to it's jaw, wailing curses at Derek the entire time.

And so, we have another day to live safely in the arctic thanks to *cue ninja music*



Ninja penguin will face an extremely hard decision as his life comes to something he hoped he'd never have to deal with again after elementary school. More School, and this time, the girls are prettier and there's a dance coming up. Stay tuned to see if Derek can rock to the tunes or if he'll pee his pants in embarassement!

The End

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