Scene 1

A play that I wrote for creative writing

Narrator:

In the not so distant future there is no more oil left in the universe. Humans have finally discovered a plethora of alien species, and planets, as well as traveled to  and colonized places across the galaxy. Humans had just started creating long distance spaceships when they began conquering other species. Through the past couple of years they have accumulated vast knowledge on spacecraft design. Now humans don’t have just spaceships, but now they have starships, equipped with the latest in plasma and photon cannons, as well as many other technological advances. The Federation of Obliterating Lifeforms Strategically, or F.O.O.L.S. only has the resources to create a few handfuls of starships, but each one is a juggernaut of fantastic abilities. Being a spaceship captain is one thing, but being a starship captain is truly the pinnacle of what an earthen child can ever hope to amount to.

On planet nomooilo is an earthical colony, And in this colony is an apartment complex, well many apartment complexes but one in particular, And in the apartment complex is a Starship captain who’s hiding out. He’s hiding in the farthest corner in the galaxy he can find, because he was given one of the most important missions ever, in the history of mankind to date, maybe there will be something more important tomorrow, but as of today there isn’t. Maybe in the near future his mission will be obsolete, but on this day the universe rests in the palm of his hands. And maybe in an alternate universe his mission is meaningless, but not here and not now. He has the most important, and hardest plan ever, maybe.

Curtain rise

The stage is set with a hallway that is coming out towards the audience. At the end of the hallway on the right is a wall, and on the left is a room with a door that goes out to the hallway. In the back left corner of the room is a cot, and a captain's uniform is folded neatly on the old night stand at the foot of the bed.

John opens the door at the end of the hall and walks in.  As he walks through barb is walking out from her apartment.

John:

Why hello Mrs.Dwyer, how are you doing today. (cheerfully)

Barb:

Oh, it’s you, what do you want. Are you coming back from that dirty old job of yours. Why do you still work there anyways, you should just leave here pack up your bags and get off this wretched old planet. (snarkly, with a disapproving tone)

John:

Well I guess I could, but I don’t really feel like that would be a good idea barb. If you don’t like this planet so much, then why don’t you and Cloves leave?

Barb: we can’t afford it we aren’t all wealthy like you, mister fancy captain.

John: Well that’s too bad, anyways I got to get home see you later Mrs.Dwyer.

Barb:

Hopefully much later.

* Barb leaves and John goes into his apartment.

John: (aside)

That was weird what did she mean by captain, does she know. No how could she know. (removes fake mustache) Ugh, I hate that stupid disguise, but it’s the only thing keeping people from finding out my really identity.

* starts reading news paper holding it so the audience can see the front cover, which has a big picture of him without a mustache, the headline captain carbon hiding away.

Cloves exits his room and goes over to John's room.

*knocks

John:

Yes who is it?

Cloves:

Uh Mr.Smith it’s me, cloves I’m here to take your laundry.

*opens door

John:

Why hello there Mr.Dwyer I was just thinking about getting my clothes cleaned.

Cloves:

Who are you? And what have you done with John. (startled and scared).

*slams door shut, and puts on mustache, goes and opens door

John:

Why hello there Mr.Dwyer I was just thinking about getting my clothes cleaned.

Cloves:

Mr.Smith, some stranger was just in your room, we should go track him down. (franticly concerned)

John:

Oh you must be mistaken cloves, there was no one in here but me. But as I was saying My urh, um mining uniform. Has this uh,um ink stain on it I was wondering if you could get it out?

(pulls out an elaborate captain’s uniform with a small oil stain on the left breast pocket and a patch with the federation logo and the acronym F.O.O.L.S. Embroidered on it on the  left shoulder)

Cloves:

Wow i’ve never seen a mining uniform like that, that looks expensive. And that stain, that can’t be ink.

John:

Why of course it’s ink, what else could it be?

Cloves:

I don’t know, but I’ve been washing clothes for fifteen years and I’ve never seen any type of ink like that. Look at it it’s so thick, I don’t think I would be able to get that out. What is this I’ve never come across anything like it in my entire life.

John:

Well that’s because it’s a new type of Ink you see, they just came up with it. Five minutes ago infact, and the reason it’s so thick is because it’s for miners. We work really hard polishing spaceships and other things like that you know the things miners do, and we need a strong Ink for when we write letters and stuff you know. (franticly trying to come up with an excuse)

Cloves:

Oh that makes sense, but I thought miners worked in the mines.And why does this Have a federation patch on the side.

John:

Well we do all sorts of things really. But uh, I think you’re thinking of some other type of job you see. And we are a smaller part of a huge hierarchy of federation works nothing like those starship captains.

Cloves:

I guess I am thinking about something else and I didn’t know they had any other federation works besides captains you learn something new everyday. Well I guess I better get going I don’t know how long it will take to get this new mining ink out. (takes uniform and goes to his apartment).

*John continues to read the newspaper

Mr.Turnakey enters from door at the end of the hall, walks towards John’s apartment

* Bangs on door

Turnakey:

Get out here Mr.Smith you owe me 25 months rent! (enraged)

John:

Why hello Mr.Turnakey, how are you doing today, may I help you with something?

Turnakey:

Don’t give me that crap Smith! You know what I want from you. Somehow you keep convincing me to give you leeway on your rent, but no more!

John:

Well I have it all right here, if you would just come into my apartment I can show you.

Turnakey:

You’re telling me you have all 5 billion newagian credits you owe me? (Skeptically walks in)

John:

Well of course I do silly, I’m Captain Carbon I make a bazillion a year, but I just don’t like wasting it.

Turnakey:

You mean after all this time you’re, you’re Captain Carbon! (pleasantly surprised)And you still haven’t paid your rent!!(Extremely aggravated) But why, why, would you tell me who you are?

John:

Well because I’m just going to erase your memory anyways. You see I’m on a top secret mission sanctioned by the F.O.O.L.S . I’m protecting the universe’s last oil reserve...(gets cut off by turnakery)

Turnakey:

Erase my memory what do you mean erase my memor...Oil? Hey I’ve heard of that stuff. With that I could afford to buy this whole wretched planet, and five more.

John:

Yes and that’s why I must protect it, because some people will do anything to get there hands on it. And that’s why I can’t waste money on rent, I need all of it to buy equipment and fuel in case of an emergency. So I’m sorry, but every time you come asking for rent I just zap you with the forgetamafier ray. (picks up a ray gun and points it at him) But lately you’ve been coming more frequently, this is the twentieth time in the fast two days I’ve had to Zap you I think you’re becoming immune. (Zaps him with the ray)

*Mr. Turnakey falls to his knees, waits a few seconds and springs back up, and walks out the door like a crude robot marching off stage

John:

Speaking of the last oil reserve...

*goes and presses a huge red button on the wall, a door opens from rights side of the room

John:

Phew, I’m glad I installed that secret button to hide it.

*goes in the secret room and comes out with a big heavy safe.

Safe:

Please state the password.

John:

Password!

Safe:

Password Accepted.

*Safe opens, John Reaches in and pulls out a small rubber chicken

John:

Even after these past couple of years I still don’t see the big deal. I know Universal Command told me not to open this unless I’m in dire circumstances. But a I guess a little check in every three years wouldn’t hurt. And what’s with all this security in the safe, a cloaker, a scanner protector, anti tracker. What’s the worst that could happen, Someone would need an intergalactic transceiver to track this down and those aren’t easy to come by.

*John puts the chicken in the safe and locks it up in the room, he continues to read the newspaper.

John:

(reading out loud) What’s this? New advances in tracking technology. Over the past three years technology has advanced to the point where intergalactic transceivers are now available in every home. The technology has advanced so much infact, that if someone were trying to find an object that was protected by an anti tracker if it were to be removed for just one nano second they would be able to track it. (stops reading). Wow who knew technology would accelerate that fast. I’m sure glad I wasn’t trying to hide something from someone.

*Curtain falls

*End scene

 

The End

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