Twenty OneMature

Josh flicked through the tv channels. Nothing but day time telly, a load of women getting paternity tests to find their 'baby Daddy', a cooking show, children's shows, nothing worth concentrating on. He was sick of sitting around all day doing nothing, it had been particularily bad ever since Sunday, he still couldn't bring himself to call Erin. Chleo and Billy hadn't tried to get in contact with him either, he didn't blame them. He scratch his face, he should probably shave, his stubble was forming a short beard, he smiled. Erin had liked his stubble, she like to run her finger along it he thought as he made his way to the bathroom. He shaved it off slowly, he told himself he was shaving it off for work. The doorbell rang as he was wiping his face. He went to the door and opened it, he wasn't prepared to see Erin standing on the front step.

''Oh hi'', he said.

''Hi'', she replied.

She looked tired, actually she looked exhausted, Josh barely recognised her.

''Do you want to come in?'', he asked, unsure of what to do.


She followed him into the sitting room, Wendy had just found out Kaleb wasn't the father of her child as Josh switched the telly off. He sat down on the couch. Erin sat across the room on the other one and looked around.

''So, how are you?'', Josh asked awkwardly.

''Pretty shit to be honest'', Erin replied, her voice was hard, ''you?''.

''I'm alright''.

Erin gave him a brief, cold smile and went back to looking around. Josh twiddled his thumbs, she didn't have to tell him why she was here, he knew why.

''I'm sorry'', he said looking at the floor, ''that I never called you''.

''Yeah..well that's not why I called around'', Erin said.

Josh was confused, he looked up at her.

''I was out on a walk with Billy'', she said getting up and looking at photographs on the wall, ''and we had a chat and I felt that I needed to tell you something''.

Josh's heart was racing, he was unsure of what was coming next. No matter what it was, he didn't expect it to be good. Erin turned and looked at him.

''I've fallen for you'', she said, she looked unhappy, embarrassed, ''I told myself I wouldn't, but I have. I love you''.

Josh didn't know what to say. He felt sick with nerves. He looked back at the floor, he could feel her eyes on him, waiting for him to speak. He gathered his thoughts and stood up.

''I'm going back to England'', he said, ''tomorrow''.

Erin's face didn't change, her expression was still stoney, she wasn't giving anything away.

''I'm sorry'', Josh said, ''I'm going back and me and Jane are moving in together, we're going to take another shot at it''.

There it was, Erin's face changed completely. But, it wasn't anger or sadness that she felt, it was confusion.

''What?'', she said.

Josh didn't reply, he stared at her, hoping that if he did she would accept it and go away.

''You are moving in with the girl you confessed to not loving?'', she continued, but her voice showed no emotion, ''the girl who came over here and insulted not only me, but everything associated with your life? What do you even see in her?''.

''She's a great person Erin'', Josh snapped, ''just because you don't see it. You don't know her like I do, she's given up a lot to be with me. I can't just throw that away. Some people find it hard to break other people's hearts''.

He spoke with such anger that Erin lost her cool. 

''That's real nice Josh'', she replied sharply, ''it was eight fucking years ago. Grow a pair''.

''Grow a pair?'', he exclaimed, ''how about you face the truth? Did you think you could just waltz back into my life and I would come crawling back to you? Did you think I'd just leave my life behind for you? I loved you and you broke my heart. You fucked off and left me here with no explanation, how do you think that felt? You treated me like I was nothing''.

''And you think that was easy?'', Erin yelled, ''do you think walking away from you made me happy? It fucking killed me Josh. I would have come running back to you, I would have left everything to come back to you''.

''Yeah but you didn't'', Josh said.

They stared at each other for what seemed like forever. Neither one of them knowing what to do or say. Erin made the first move, she turned and opened the sitting room door. She stopped for a second.

''You never wrote'', she said quietly.

Then she walked out, Josh heard the front door close, but he couldn't move. He couldn't speak, for the second time Erin was gone.

The End

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