Erin's face went a deeper shade of red and she shifted awkwardly. Josh felt frozen, he knew he should let her leave but he was stuck to the spot. He couldn't help but think about the last time they were in this situation, he wanted to slap himself, that was then, this was a different situation. This wasn't a situation at all in fact.
''Your hair'', he said suddenly trying to break the silence, ''it's different, it's shorter''.
''Thanks?'', Erin said unsure of what he was trying to say.
''It's nice I meant'', Josh said blushing slightly, ''it suits you''.
Erin smiled and looked away shyly.
''It's weird being home after being away for so long'', she said quietly.
''How long have you been home?'', Josh asked.
''Only 3 months'', she replied, ''I got bored moving around, I wanted to stay somewhere for once''.
''I know the feeling'', he sighed, ''it's hard to find good friends when you're constantly on the move''.
''It's hard to stay in contact with people too'', Erin said looking at the floor, she looked back up and smiled, ''I heard you got yourself a girl over in England''.
''Yeah'', Josh said smiling weakly, ''kind of, it's a bit complicated. We're together, but not really together. If you get me?''.
''Not really no'', Erin said laughing.
''Yeah I don't get it either'', Josh said smiling, ''but that's the way she is''.
''Yeah. Well, I'm gonna head back down to the others'', Erin said looking around the room again.
She started to walk towards the door, Josh didn't want her to go, he wanted to talk to her, all night. He wanted to sit down and talk about everything that they'd been up to, he wanted to tell her he had missed her.
''Remember the last time you caught me in your room at a party?'', Erin said.
Josh hadn't noticed her stopping beside him. He smiled and laughed quietly.
''Yup'', he turned and looked at her, she was smaller than she used to be, or he was just taller.
''We had that big fight'', she said looking up, ''cause you thought I was doing Billy behind your back''.
Josh laughed and nodded, feeling embarrassed about that night.
''And you thought Lily was my bit on the side'', he said.
''No one has ever kissed me the way you kissed me that night'', Erin said looking away and blushing.
Josh swallowed, he felt his heart racing. He didn't have feelings for Erin anymore, but his intinct told him differently.
''I wasn't as tall then'', he said, his voice sticking in his throat, ''you could put your arms around my neck''.
''I'd say I still could'', Erin said, speaking barely above a whisper.
She stepped toward him and put her arms around his neck but this time needing to push herself up on her toes, she smiled up at him. He wrapped his arms around her waist, like he had then. His heart was in his throat, he shouldn't be doing this. He shouldn't be doing this on Jane, or Erin. Especially with his family downstairs. But then they were kissing. Passionately, roughly, she tasted the same. She even kissed the same, he picked her up and dropped her down on the bed, their lips never parting. They pulled each others clothes off, 8 years of longing took over as they rediscovered each other's bodies. He was inbetween her legs, kissing her as they moved, trying to hide the sound of their moaning. It had never felt like this with Jane, Josh kept thinking, there was never this heat. Erin's legs were wrapped tightly around his waist spuring him on more. When they finished he collapsed down on her, both of them breathing heavily, their sweat mixing together.
''Oh. My. God'', she breathed.
He couldn't say a word. He didn't want to, he didn't want to move either. He wanted to lie here on Erin's chest listening to her heart. She started running her fingers through his hair, humming quietly. She shut her eyes, she hadn't wanted this, but now that it had happened she wanted it again, she felt like all the tension in her body had gone. She felt lighter. He had gotten better even thought he touched her the same and kissed her the same.
''Erin?'', he mumbled, ''why did we do that?''.
She took a deep breath and sighed.
''I don't know''.
Chleo and Erin were lying in Chleo's back garden, it was a rare hot summer day and they were making the most of it, they were sprawled across the grass on a blanket like children with their legs in the air.
''So glad Dan took the kids away'', Chleo said rolling onto her back, ''I needed some quiet, time to chill you know?''.
Erin nodded and picked at the grass. She hadn't said anything about the other night, she desperately wanted to, it never seemed like the right time.
''It was nice the other night, the gang being all together again'', Chleo said shutting her eyes, ''except Dean, I hate that guy. What does Billy see in him? He's so self centred, and to be honest a complete minger. Like his nose is huge. How the hell is he a model?''.
''I slept with Josh'', Erin blurted out.
Chleo said nothing, this made Erin nervous. She turned and looked at Chleo who was still lying on her back with her eyes shut.
''Chleo, did you hear me?''.
''And what? You're a grown lady you can make your own decisions''.
Erin was shocked, Chleo sounded annoyed, no she sounded disappointed in her. She felt like she was being scolded by her Mother, well a Mother figure. She looked down at the grass and went red. Chleo didn't move, just lay there. Erin wanted to say something, she didn't think Chleo would take it that way, she thought she'd want to know.
''I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have...''.
''Erin I'm only joking'', Chleo said opening one eye and smiling, ''I'm glad he got a bit, he needed some. Seriously he was telling me about his girlfriend thing, she sounds like a right wagon''.
Erin smiled, but her stomach dropped, she wished Chleo hadn't mentioned that girl. It made her feel worse.
''I feel bad on her'', she said quietly.
''You shouldn't, she told him they should take some time apart'', Chleo said getting up on her side and looking at Erin, ''so technically, he's not with her at all, and anyway, he could have said no''.
''But I don't have feelings for him'', Erin said putting her head in her hands, ''like I don't get the butterflies when I see him, I don't want to be with him''.
''Well obviously there's something there''.
''I just think it was the moment'', Erin shrugged, ''we just got caught up and we had had a couple of drinks, I just hope he doesn't think I want to be with him again''.
''Was it good though?'', Chleo asked smiling.
''Oh my God Chleo it was amazing'', Erin said giggling.
''Then why stop?''.
''I don't want to lead him on Chleo''.
''I knooow'', Chleo said exasperated, ''but who says you two can't just have some fun, without the pressure of a relationship?''.
Erin thought for a second about it, it was true. Who knew how long she'd be in Ireland for anyway, and Josh was going back at the end of the summer unless he got a new job.
''I should go talk to him then?'', Erin said unsure of what Chleo was telling her to do.
''Talk to him'', Chleo said nodding and lying back again.