Moment 3: Christmas
So, he finds that magical things do happen. However, they apparently happen the day before winter break. It’s a Christmas wish, maybe, that she has come back. But it’s no miracle. It would have been a miracle if she had noticed him, that day before break. But she did not.
Christmas break is miserable. He hates it, but not just because he finds his dreams suddenly haunted by a lion mane of red hair, but because when he is awake, the only sound he hears in the house is fighting. He thinks to himself that most kids get the same old Christmas music all break long. He gets the complete album of Ways Your Parents Can Screw Up Christmas.
He spends his break pretending to do homework. Even if he had any, he wouldn’t be able to do it. The fighting leaves him with constant headaches, making him glad that he had stayed after school the day before break to finish everything. Part of him wishes he was still there, while another part knows that the only reason he was there in the first place was for a chance meeting with red hair.
But then he thinks about what would be happening if his parents weren’t fighting, and that tops all the other thoughts. More important than his red haired Christmas wish was the fact that without the fighting, his parents would be remembering. He wonders if that even after five years, the point of the fighting is to forget. He wishes it were that simple.
They don’t fight about David. Not anymore.
When he’s not dreaming about her, he’s dreaming about overdosing. He wonders if it’s David who did this to him. No matter how much makeup he wore at the funeral, his face had still looked pale and used. He worried about overdosing because he didn’t want to look pale and used, even though he didn’t use anything and his body still worked fine. He didn’t want to use up all the makeup in the funeral home and still look like a piece of crap.
Most of the time, he wakes up shaking from the thought. A part of him wishes that his mother would come to check on him, like she used to. But he knows it’s a stupid wish; as if his mother would want to cross the living room to get to him and chance waking up his father sleeping on the couch.