5 minutes of emotional turbulence
He watched her run past him. Every morning he had jogged and watched the woman in the tracksuit run past him. Long beautiful hair. Sweaty limbs and music in her ears. The look of derision and complete apathy to the people around her. She was beautiful. Firm breasts. Athletic body. Toned muscles. She hid her figure well in the ugly tracksuit, but he imagined it to be a body worth trying for.
He had never seen her smile. And he wondered what her smile would look like. He had wanted to talk to her for a long time but never had the courage to do so. Today he had decided he would stop her and make conversation, but so far, it seemed an impossible task.
He slowed down and looked at the city skyline. The silhouette of the tallest buildings in the city. It was beautiful. The rigid gray forms of the buildings and a blue envelope of the sky. It could be a perfect metaphor for something totally meaningless. He watched the woman run past him again.
She had the look of a person who had a schedule. Her runs were obstacle-free and timed to perfection. Synchronized to some pattern that she had probably started with a long time ago.
So she lived on schedule. Her life followed a fixed pattern. No randomness around her. No shocks or surprises. A timetable that was followed. She needed to be busy. In a desperate attempt to ensure that there was no possibility of emptiness in her life.
Yes. She was lonely. Like all beautiful women, she was insecure. She wanted to be loved. But she was too proud to accept it. And she always wanted what wasn't in her reach. If it was achievable, it wasn't worth it.
Of course, She thought she could have anything. But she never realized that all she could do was aspire.
"You don't get something just because you want it.", he said aloud. "Wouldn't you rather be near the birds than wish for wings your entire lifetime?"
It made no sense and he decided to shut up, increased his speed and continued staring at the woman he had so madly fallen in love a while ago.
She needed someone to rescue her and yet make her believe that he was only helping her discover herself. She had her demons that she fought. Like all women worth trying for, she was dark and mysterious.
He stopped. And watched her run, emotionless, music in her ears but as she passed by him, he saw her notice him and smile. It was a smile with no emotions. Was that a mask she wore on her face? Did he really wish to look beneath the mask and see her true side? The smile was scary because it seemed so unreal.
She had always lied to the world. It was how she kept them out. She smiled her way into the lives of those horny men, but gave them nothing she didn't regret. In the end of it all, the men had swooned and professed their love to her, while she raped and humped their minds dry and walked away, her virginity still intact.
And he was suddenly scared of her. He hated her at that moment for having noticed him. And as he stood there watching her run, he rued ever liking her. He turned and ran out of the park, never to return.
Never fall in love with someone you need an excuse to hate.