... They have shake weights in hell too?Mature

“But, I wasn’t given any!”

                “Then you don’t belong.”

                “I don’t understand!  I did what they asked!”

                “Well, looks like someone is trying to prove a point.  Sorry, Greg. Time to go back. Bring your wings next time!” The Guardian pulls a lever and the clouds disappear beneath him.

                Now, Greg is falling again. For a long time. He falls from heaven.  He falls through space. Passes the same stars, planets, constellations. Oddly, the sites did not seem as beautiful this time. He falls towards Earth and picks up speed.  He begins to burn as he hits the atmosphere and screams. As he hits the ground, he crushes through as if he is being pulled to the planets very molten core. It’s quite painful without the elevator to protect him. Soon after crashing to earth like a meteor he closes his eyes and opens them, and to his surprise, he’s standing at the podium on the stage once again.

                “What the hell!?” Greg exclaims with his mouth agape and his eyes wide.

                “Watch your language,” the host laughs.

                “I forgave myself! I forgave everyone!  Just give me my halo so I can get the… heck out of here!”  He says as he slammed the top of the podium.

                “Oh, Greg, I’m so sorry.  I forgot you needed one of those.  Well, let’s see.  I think I might have one laying around here somewhere,” the host snaps his fingers and a closet door appears next to him. He begins to rummage through it. “Old pictures, a tennis racket, some old Christmas decorations, a dead body, bowling trophies, oh here it is. I wondered where you were hiding!”

                “Give it to me!” Greg shouts.

                “It’s a shake weight.  You really want it?” He says as he turns around to reveal his find.  The audience laughs. “I’ve been wanting to tone up, you see? Gotta look good for the show.” The host adds and begins using it.

                Greg stares at him with a blank expression. The stage was quiet and all you could hear was the squeaking of the shake weight.

                “I’m sorry pal, I think you’re just going to have to earn one like everyone else.” He keeps thrusting the shake weight. “I forgot how great this thing is! Sure is tiring though. I bet we could dedicate a whole layer of hell to this device and make people do this for an eternity! Dang, that’s dreary.”

                Greg shakes his head and leans on the podium.  “I just saw heaven, fell through space, fell to earth, and now I’m listening to a guy make shake weight jokes. I don’t think I’m dead, I’m pretty sure someone slipped me something.  It’s fine.  I won’t remember any of this when the roofies wear off.”

The audience then burst into uncontrollable laughter and the host turns back around with a strange smile.

                “So what did daddy, do, huh?”

                “None of your business.” Greg says.

                “C’mon, I’m rooting for ya! You going to play our game or not?
                Greg stood silent.

                “Okay, well if you don’t tell me, you’ll have to show me.” The host turns to the part of the stage where parts of Greg’s life existed like a library of live action memories. The first portion lit up. As Greg looked at it he was teleported into the day in time that he lost trust in his father.

The End

3 comments about this story Feed