"Riddle: What's transparent; immaterial; and tries to be inconspicuous, at least, before an airheaded vampire decides to hijack its life?"
Ooh, I liked riddles. They gave me a chance to display my witty intellect, which just didn't get as much exercise as my stellar physique. "I think I've heard this one before," I bluffed.
"Good. What's the answer then?"
I frowned. This - being - didn't know how to play by the rules. I bluffed, and he was supposed to cower before inadvertently revealing the answer to the riddle.
"It's not much fun if I already know, don't you think?"
"Oh, I don't care much for fun. I simply survive. Surely you know how it is. Vampires have to drink blood-"
"But we still have fun. Unlike - whatever you are."
"So you don't know!" Suddenly, the diminutive man before me oozed triumph. "I'm a-"
"Oh, so the riddle is about you!" I said glibly.
"Ghost, ghost, ghost," he said with his head hung low. His manner was deflated once more.
"I'm a ghost. Might as well reveal it; you'd take forever to guess."
"I would not!" Hmmm. A ghost, huh? That was going to be my guess. Absolutely. This is only what I expected.
Unnerved by my silence, I suppose, the ghost continued, "The name's Ernie."