I turned around, fast. So fast that it was almost a spin. I was so ticked off that I'm lucky that I didn't screw myself right into the the ground in my spin.
We unbelievably sexy vampires don't like it when beautiful women are stolen right out from under our regal noses.
Not that Diss had ever been mine to steal, but that was beside the point. If I want something, it is automatically mine. Just because. It's a law of nature, or something. At least in my mind, anyway.
I stalked off, back toward the place I had just left, still steaming. So steamed in fact, I stalked smack dab into the back of the thick oaken door, which still hung open.
I bounced back, my ego smarting. Being the undead, the door couldn't do any physical damage to me.
When I heard Diss giggle behind me, I flew into a rage. Literally flew. Who was was this woman to laugh at me! This furry little nothingness, to laugh at the great epitome of sexiness, THE!!!
I flew towards Dissonance, my fingernails having lengthened into claws in my rage. Just as I reached her, I was stopped in mid flight by a resounding WHACK upside my head from a huge scaly tail.
I looked up from the ground, where I had been knocked onto my adorably tight butt. There beside Diss stood the merman that I had thought was my friend - for centuries.
"Michaelps." I growled. "Just the fish I wanted to see! How dare You take what is mine!" I went from being mad at Diss to being mad at Michaelps. I don't have a very long attention span.
"Diss is not yours, The." He said calmly. "Or even mine, for that matter. We have a mutual respect for each other, that's all. You don't have to prove anything, but if you want to fight, I'm game. You don't have a chance in the Netherworld of winning anyway."
I sat and glared at him, trying to look dangerous. The actual fact was, I wasn't really sure what he meant by the Netherworld, or what my chances might have to do with it.
I'm not terribly swift on the uptake.
I jumped to my feet, and then jumped at the merman. He was surprisingly fast on his tail fin. He caught me by my forearms, swung me around and smashed my legs into the nearest tree.
He let go of my arms, and I fell to the ground - again. I seemed to be spending a lot more time on the ground than I was used to.
I had never actually fought another immortal before, just humans, and they were no match for the sexily superior me.
I was not far from the fish and the werewoman, so as I pretended to get to me feet, I lunged at Michaelps. I caught him by his thick scaly tail, and flew into the air with him. I upended him and drove his head into the ground like a pile driver.
Or at least that was the plan. Instead, Michaelps bent his body at the waist, and doubled up so that his tail was in my hands, but his hands were at my throat.
He struggled to get his tail free of my grasp, and I struggled to get my throat free of his grip.
And all this was done in mid air. It must have been quite a sight from the ground. Suddenly, we were both hit broadside.
WHUNK! (I really like sound affects) Diss had grabbed a thick dead tree branch, and was wielding it like a Louisville Slugger baseball bat. We both lost our grips and fell to the ground.
Being on the ground had become an unpleasantly bad habit for me. Michaelps and I looked up at Dissonance,who glared down at the two of us, with a very threatening scowl on her face.