I was trying my hardest to keep my composure. Willow stood beside me, caught between me and the lethal gaze of Crimson. Of her brother. I so longed to reach for her, to hold her nearer to me. But the need to keep her safe trumped the desire, and in the end I settled for taking a defensive step towards her.
"Fuck off. You dont know shit," I spoke lowly, venom seeping into the words.
After that, the only thing I recalled was Crimson's fist connecting with my jaw. The taste of blood overcame my mouth; I lost my balance and nearly fell into the street. All the while Willow was trying to keep her brother calm, but no, he was upon me again, growling his curses in my face.
When my strength returned I was able to push him off of me. I muttered meaningless words, and then I was gone. Moving down the sidewalk, I regretted leaving Willow there. Crimson was a volcano, just waiting to explode, and a flower such as Willow would surely be annihilate in his fury. Something within me said that Crimson could never hurt his sister, not when he'd done all this to protect her.
I didnt know where to go. Eventually I decided I would just go home.
Home. The word seemed so empty, so meaningless to me. Certainly not the word to describe the small apartment.
It was cold when I arrived, a creeping chill that was all too fitting. Summer was in full swing, in the heart of July. Things would not be changing for a while.
That was both good and bad. The last few days, Willow had consumed my mind, reverberating beauty and laughter. I most certainly did not want that to fade. But this sudden war with Crimson was sure to catch up to me when the adrenaline wore off, when I realized I'd just thrown away my best friend of three years.
Another surge of anger came over me then, violent passion turning my blood to lava. A ragged scream escaped from somewhere within me. Pounding steps took me down the hall to my room. Throwing open the door and crossing to my dresser, I yanked open the top drawer with a fury like no other.
My vision was dotted with red; I didnt even know what had set me off. I guess it was just everything. Trinity and Crimson and Riley and just everything. In the depths of my drawer I found all of my bags, all the weed and cocaine I'd stashed away, all the escapes I'd held to for way too long. Scooping them all up, I rushed into the bathroom. My knees hit the tiles, hands grasping for the rim of the toilet.
One by one, I emptied the bags. White powder swirld in the water. I didnt realize I was crying until I saw the first few tears fall into the mixture. Then I yanked the handle, and watched my past disappear down the drain.