I watched her go with the undeniable feeling that she was pulling away. Trinity had been my salvation for so long, my source of light and strength. I needed her so much more than she would ever know.
But something was between us, some darkened mystery she was carefully concealing. Absently I lit up another cigarette. Smoke seeped into the empty places inside me.
Anger took over me, manifesting in the trembling of my hands, the crease in my forehead. First my parents, then my sister, and now the two people I needed most. Was I destined to lose everyone I held near to me? I was starting to think I was meant to be alone.
And maybe that was life, that everyone was meant to be alone, because only we could face ourselves. Life was about accepting change, dealing with it as it came, doing the best we could. Maybe other people were only there to stand in our way.
Or maybe we really did need someone, and everyone was after something to hold onto, and the impossibly magical disaster called life wasnt so hard after all.
I was lost in my self-inflicted war, tossing in tides of conflict. That was when I saw them. The city faded, the smoke disappeared. Nothing existed but them. The beautiful, snow white angel in her dismal black dress.
And then darker figure laughing beside her, reaching to take her hand in his own.
Trevor smiled in my direction when he saw me, a smile of genuine happiness. It may have been envy that took over me then, but in the end it was only raw, red fury that caused my heart to race.
"Michael." It was Willow who spoke, and when I looked to her I could see all her emotions splayed out across her face. Like the colors of the setting sun fading into the black of night.
"What the fuck is this?" I demanded. There was a monster within me, guiding my actions. One that didnt flinch at the terror streaked across my sister's face.
Trevor started to speak, but Willow cut him off. "Michael, please calm down."
It wasnt working. I whipped what was left of my cigarette at the ground, letting out an inhuman growl. "This is the girl?" My gaze, my tone was all directed at Trevor. "This is the one you've been talking about?"
My supposed best friend was staring at me like he didnt even know me, like he'd never seen me before in his life. With slitted eyes he took a protective step towards Willow. "Fuck off," he sneered. "You dont know shit."
At that point, I lost it, or maybe I already had. My hand came up in the form of a fist to collide with Trevor's jaw.Willow let out a shriek, but I barely heard it over the excrutiating pain in my hand.
"Stop it, Michael!" Willow was pleading. She was barely a speck on my radar; all my attention was focused on Trevor, on those lifeless gray eyes that now seemed so ablaze. He had stumbled back a few steps, but it didnt stop me from closing the distance to seize him by the front of his dress shirt.
"Stay the fuck away from my sister," I snarled. Fear flashed in Trevor's eyes, quickly replaced as he shoved me off of him. The unexpectedness of it sent me backwards.
"You're got some serious growing up to do, kid," he spat at me. "Maybe you should look at your own life before you go telling people how to live theirs."
With those final words, the last tendrils of our friendship snapped. Trevor turned on his heel and started off, taking all my adrenaline with him. I crashed into the brick wall for support. Passersby kept on walking. In New York, people looked the other way.
Eventually I brought myself to look at Willow. My twin. I had once so loved her, and now I had only pushed her away. Her eyes bore a mixture of pity and disgust, a sorrow so deep it chilled me to the bone. Sorry was on the tip of my tongue, but just couldnt seem to find its way out.
Willow tore her gaze away from mine, stepping away from me. "Congratulations," she scowled. I had never heard such bitterness in her delicate voice. I felt a twinge of guilt. It was worsened when I recalled that her best friend had just died.
"Really, Michael. Mom and Dad sure are smiling down on you now." I didnt reply, couldnt reply. Willow hurried off down the sidewalk after Trevor, leaving no trace of her presence but her stinging words. Nothing could have hurt me worse.