Astonishingly, right as the lights were turned on, a tall, skinny, modelesque type looked Harveys way. "Oh no." Thought Sam, "She's either a man or a prostitute."

"Excuse me?" asked Sam. "Did you just see a guy go out this way? Excuse me? Did you just see a guy... he's about this height, he doesn't have a lot of hair... Excuse me?"

Sam wasn't having a whole lot of luck finding his friend who seemed to have disappeared out the back somehow.

"Oh, you mean the fat guy? Yeah, he's out by the trashcans with Sindy," said a tall woman (or was "he" a "she"?) with suspiciously red hair.

Sam went through the back door. The woman (man?) had been right. Well, almost right. They weren't exactly BY the trashcans...

"Say, Harvey? What... what exactly... are you and that lady doing  in the garbage?"

Harvey looked briefly at him and then carried on with his activities as though nobody had said anything.

Sam tried to go in to rescue his friend but found himself pulled in by the pair of them. Sindy was, Sam realised close-up, definitely a man. If he knew it after a few seconds then Harvey, no matter what his level of drunkenness, must have known it after... well...

Sindy pulled the garbage bag further over all their heads.

"Do you recognise Sindy?" asked Harvey.

"No. Should I?" asked Sam.

"Do you remember watching 'Up Sergeant' with me all those times last year?"

"So?" asked Sam as he tried to move a bottle of mouldy catsup out of his way.

"John Strimmer," said Harvey.

"Wait... Oh my... YOU'RE John Strimmer?" Sam asked the lady in the long pink dress with her purple eyeshadow and her ridiculously long cigarette.

"Umm hmm," she / he said as she lit the cigarette and sent flies buzzing in the opposite direction. "Didn't recognise me, huh? Just like everyone's seen a Juke Dicker film, right, but they'd never know this was cute little Harvey."

"Man, this is better than therapy!" said Harvey, slapping Sindy on the back.

"OK," said Sam slowly, "so... like what are we all doing lying in a whole heap of club garbage?"

"Don't you get it? Sindy's telling me that we have to put our past on the trash pile in order to get over it."

"It's over," said Sindy.

"It's done," added Harvey.

"It's happened," said Sindy.

"But it's so not happening now," they chanted together and fell into a heap laughing on the garbage. Sam realized that's what he'd seen earlier: the two of them rolling about with laughter, half covered with a garbage sack.

"You know what?" said Sam. "I'm really pleased for you that this evening has worked out so well but I'm covered in garbage here..." (Sindy and Harvey laughed like maniacs at this) "... and it stinks..." (more laughter) "...and I'm out of here."

He jumped down from the garbage.

"I'll go get cleaned up. When you're done, Harvey, come and find me and I'll see you safely home."

This was apparently the best joke Sam had ever told.

"No need to see him home, darling," said Harvey's new friend. "He's got Sindy to take care of him now."

The End

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