I wanted to post something since it's been a while and I've had this guy running through my mind for sometime so I'm going to just write whatever comes to my head. lets hope it's good...
I'm falling for him. No, scratch that. I have fallen for him, hard. There's nothing that can cheer me up more then seeing his name pop up somewhere and imagining his cute little smile that could brighten up the darkest of days. But on the other hand, there's nothing that makes me more depressed than thinking about how he isn't mine, how he will never be mine because I've screwed everything up.
It's not what you think. We still talk, we even act like we're still together sometimes, yeah, we went out. But it only lasted for a week and he broke up with me 2 days before my 16 birthday, so technically I should hate him. But if I ever get the chance to even talk to him I jump at it like a neglected dog to a bowl of kibble. I don't know why I do it, it just happens, my heart skips a beat whenever I think about him. Although by that logic my heart shouldn't be beating at all because I think about him a bloody lot.
I love his hugs, they're the kind of hugs that make you never wanna let go, you just want to die right there, in his arms and you know that if you did, you'd die the happiest girl on earth. I love the way he treats me like I'm a fragile piece of china, he'll always be careful, constantly acting like if he did the wrong thing that I'd break. I love how he has an amazing taste in music and that we can just lie there listening to it, not even talking but knowing that things are just... great. I love his hair, if you seriously think you love someone's hair, it will fail ultimately in comparison to him, he has this totally great hair that just screams "I am amazing. you SHALL love me in every way possible" and when he hasn't hair-sprayed it and it's flat his face is just overwhelmingly cute and thats probably one of the top three things that make you fall in love with him. Another of the top three would be how he is amazingly cute, he will make you feel like you are the best thing in the world, just knowing that he cares that much makes you so happy you could never frown again, and whenever you're sad he's the one you think about to make you smile. I love it when he kisses me, he always acts like he's nervous and when he finally gets round to it he sometimes apologises, like he's done something wrong, when he's just made me feel like a princess and turned my face the colour of a tomato. I made the first move with our first kiss, let me tell you the story:
It was the middle of winter, there wasn't any snow on the ground but the air was like icicles hitting your skin. We were at the bus stop because I was going home, I'd had a great day, it was a saturday which meant I'd been to see my friends. We'd spent the other half of the night with his two other best friends (who are also two of my closest friends) but they'd left us alone at this point. So basically we'd got to talking online for a while and we'd been flirting for most of that time too :3 he was telling me, at the bus stop, how he was nervous because he'd really wanted to kiss me. Before I could let him explain why he was so nervous, my head literally went "What the hell, you like him. Just kiss him" and so I did. Although just a few months ago I'd given up on searching for that feeling. That feeling of pure joy, like you're suddenly on drugs and everything just seems almost perfect. But there it was. Clear as day. And it was great.
There's just one problem with [.Name.Removed.]. He's taken.