To Madam Penny and Lucas Frump, the dog show seemed like the most pivotal thing in their life - until death paid their competitor a visit.
Tea Bags is a satirical reflection of middle class narcissism, based on a story about a dog show which I read on the ABC news site, that made me think; "Hmm? This is news?"
“You’ve been a bad boy, Sir Charles!” Madam Penny snapped, slamming the dog carrier shut, and smacking the door of the green room closed behind her. The room was essentially featureless, with pale cream walls, a single window opposite the door and a bench which stretched from one wall to the sink. Around the small room sat six wooden lawn chairs and six white pet carriers; one for each loser of the final event. On the bench were three two-litre bottles of milk, one kettle, a tray of china mugs and a box of tea bags.
Madam Penny was dressed in a blue fairy-tale gown, with pumps on the shoulders and a large floral imprint wrapping down the left of her bulging waist and breast. On her shoes, her swollen feet sagged over obscured heels. Her hazel hair was done up so it ballooned over her round, red face and her skin was leathery and brown. Her eyes were a deep colour of black and her nose pointed upwards, much like the nose of Sir Charles, her traumatised toy poodle.
Leaving out a sad sigh, she stormed to the end of the green room, turning the kettle on.
A few minutes after she had composed herself, Lucas Frump entered the loser’s circle in his jet black suit. Stopping and puffing his skinny chest into the air, he said in the most pompous accent he could muster, “Heel, Majesty,” just to turn his long, crooked nose up at Madam Penny and straighten his thin rose tie.
As he turned to push his poodle into his carrier, she rudely pressed her thumb up behind her front teeth and flicked it out towards him. He walked across the room with his black, oily hair flicking in his stride as his did so. Pouring himself a cup of tea, he was dismayed to find only a small selection of tea bags remaining. As he always did when he was nervous, he moved his dosage up to two bags per cup and retreated to his seat.