Walking.Mature

I walk, and walk, and walk, until I reach an area of town I don't recognize. People look at me strangely. I am wearing a thin t-shirt and jeans, socks but no shoes. The snow has mostly  melted, but it is still cold outside. Yet here I am. Some strange guy who is determined to kill himself. I tell myself not to feel the cold, to ignore the strange looks, the mutterings. But the truth is, goose-bumps have raised on my arms, and socks are damp from the still-slushy ground. I dig through my pockets. With a sigh of relief, I find that I have brought both my wallet and my mobile. I enter the nearest clothing store and by myself a hoodie, coat and some trainers. Finally, warmth seeps back into my bones, and I continue walking. 

The whole time, all I am thinking about is Eilidh. How she won't tell me the truth, how she obviously still isn't happy, how I would still be on my own if I hadn't jumped off that bridge. I sigh. What is stopping me from really doing it? Going through with it this time? There would be no Eilidh to stop me now... But deep down, I know I can't leave her. I would never be truly at rest without knowing this.. secret.. of hers. The thing she won't tell me. 

I am so deep in thought that I am not looking when I cross roads. So deep that I do not hear the car, roaring down the road way above the speed limit. I don't notice until it sends me flying. I crash down on the road. 

This is it. I think. This is the end . Thinking it, I am oddly calm.

Goodbye, cruel world... I think, and then I black out. 

 

The End

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