It has been almost a month when it hits me. This is it. Now or never. I have to speak to her, or risk losing her permanently. And I know I can't do that. Not if I want to stay sane. I need her like a fish needs water, like every living being needs air..
I have made up my mind. I pick up my mobile, and hit the speed dial. The phone rings in my ear. And again. And again. And again. Until:
"Hi, this is Eilidh's phone, I'm really sorry I can't take your call right now, but leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Bye!" There is a beep, and I prepare myself.
"Hey, Eilidh. Its me. Look, I know you probably won't listen to this. I know you probably didn't answer on purpose. I know that. But I'm still here. I'm still speaking. Know why? Because I love you, and I can't live without you. Whatever I've done, whatever is wrong, I swear, I'll fix it. I'll make it up to you. Any way I can. Just.. please, don't tell me this is it. Don't. Because I'm sorry, and I know I'm weak, but I can't live without you. Please, Eilidh. Call me. I love you."
I hang up. I guess all there is to do now is wait. Wait, and hope. Hope that this isn't the end, because if it is, I might have to throw myself off the nearest bridge.