I laid on the sofa for the entire weekend. I hadn't eaten anything since Saturday Morning. I had the TV on but I wasn't really paying attention. The IT Crowd was on, my favorite show, but I didn't really care. As I heard Jen's voice coming from the speakers of the TV, I couldn't help but think of when Eilidh and I used to sit here, watching TV until two in the morning if we weren't upstairs making love. I'd sit with my arm wrapped around her . . . and we'd kiss.
The very thought of it made tears well up in my eyes. I burried my face in a pillow so I wouldn't have to feel the salty water droplets pour down my cheeks. It wasn't long before the pillow was sopping wet with my tears.
There was a knock on the door. I hesitated for a few moments, thinking it was Joy. It knocked again. And again. The fourth time I got up. I know Joy would've just barged in by now.
As I pulled the door in, I immediatly wanted to slam it shut again. It was Marcus. My seventeen-year-old cousin. It's not that I didn't like him. I really did. I just didn't want him to see me like this.
"Donny! What the hell did you do to yourself?!? Where's Eilidh?"
"She's at Joy's," I mumbled.
"How long's she been gone?" he asked.
"I dunno, like two days." It felt like two years.
"Damn . . . can you imagine if she's actually been gone awhile? I don't even know how you could get any worse than you already are! This is really -- "
"Could you just tell me why you came here in the first place?" I snapped.
"I dunno, I was just at my mum's house and thought I'd drop in and say 'hi.' " he said a bit gloomily.
"Look, I'm sorry I snapped at you, I just miss Elidh."
"Hope you two aren't getting divorced like my mum and dad did. At least if you did, there wouldn't be a kid caught in the middle of you two, like me." He frowned.
"GET OUT!!!" I shouted at him. He took a few steps back and I slammed the door in his face.
Could that be what she was hiding from me? Only a year after we were married and she already wanted out? No, it couldn't be. I shook the thought from my head and slumped back onto the couch. But the thought just kept creeping back into my mind as I watched zoned out on the television. And the words repeated over and over in my mind.
Hope you aren't getting divorced . . . Hope you aren't getting a divorce . . . At least you wouldn't have a kid caught in the middle . . . Like my mum and dad did . . . Divorced . . . Divorced . . . Divorced . . .