We have been having angry and sad sex, my worst kinds of sex.
She has been crying all through, making it wetter than it needed to be but I'm still worried the whole time, but maybe she would tell me why she was upset. She didn’t.
She avoids me for the rest of the day, making excuses to leave, like “oh, we’ve run out of milk,” when she had just poured it down the sink.
She has been gone almost all day. I mope about the house, not really paying attention to anything. I try to watch TV but seeing a couple kissing makes me feel melancholy.
I lay on my bed for the best part of three hours and Eilidh still isn’t back.
Suddenly I hear a knock at my door, I know it wasn’t Eilidh back from the store as she doesn’t knock.
I stumble downstairs and open the door.
“Donny!” Joy beams.
“Hey, Joy.” I say drearily. Joy’s expression immediately falters.
“What's up?” Joy says, inviting herself in.
“Just... stuff.” I rub my eyes. I don’t think I could be happy to see my wife’s best friend. And why did she have to come round now?
“Is it Eilidh?” She asks, helping herself a beer to and sitting on the couch. I sit opposite her.
“Yeah. I don’t know what to do.” I put my head in my hands.
“Don’t worry, Donny. It’s just chick stuff probably. You know how we can get. Do you have any idea what's up?” She takes a large gulp of beer.
“I don’t know, Joy... Did she tell you? I bet she did.” I sigh.
“No. She didn’t tell me actually.” She crosses her arms, obviously offended.
“Sorry.” I say simply.
“Its ok, Donny. Just don’t worry about it. She’ll come around.” Joy smiles at me and I try to smile back.
“Oh, excuse me, got to take this.” Joy gets her vibrating mobile phone out of her jeans pocket and walks to the corner of the room.
“Oh, hey... Yeah, sure... I’m at your house, actually... Yeah, he’s here... Yeah, I’ll tell him... Bye.” My ears pick up half way through. Its Eilidh.
“That was Eilidh.” I state.
“Yes... She wanted me to tell you that she isn’t going to be coming home tonight. She's staying with me.” Joy walks slowly to the door as I stare into space. She waves to me dramatically.
“Bye.” I say meanly.
“Well, you know, its just that I want her to tell me. Well, I think I do. But I just can’t stand her being apart from me, you know? Its like having your soul ripped out and torn to pieces. I need Eilidh. I love her so much and I really do need her. She is the most amazing person I have ever met, well, if you know the people I’ve met, you’ll agree, and I know you know the people I know.” I chuckle.
I sit on the fence surrounding our front yard staring with wide eyes up at the moon hanging in the dark sky.
"I hope you are listening." I say to it as the clear sky shows me billions of beautiful stars. "I hope you can hear me too, Eilidh, I love you, forever and ever. Nothing will change that, not ever.”
I wonder slowly back to my house, still gazing into space. I think about her. Why was she so upset?
"I'm so sorry." I mutter as I step back inside.
I curled up on my bed, frightened about what the next day would bring.
“Good night, Eilidh.” I whisper into the darkness.