After the delicious BBQ I was feeling exhausted, and I wanted to go to bed early. I don't know if it was side effects of the pregnancy or if it was just me being tired. I urged Tyler to hang with Em and David until he got tired. Tyler and David are staying at David's house until the bathroom's were finished, and I didn't feel right asking to stay over with him at David's.
I had my first doctor's appointment in the morning with Dr.Ko, he was the one we liked best. He was conveniently only five minutes from the house. Since I had already gotten car insurance on my old beat up 1983 Monte Carlo I was going to drive myself. I made the appointment first thing in the morning so we would be in time to open the shop. Tyler was meeting me there, David's house wasn't to far. I was a little nervous, but Tyler being there would help.
I had gotten use to sleeping next to him this past week, and I found it hard to fall asleep. I tossed and turned forever before I got up to, and the clock said it was already 10:00 PM. I went into the living room, but looked like everyone was gone and EM was already in her room. So I went upstairs and knocked on her door.
"It's me are you awake?" I asked her.
"Yes, come in," Em tells me.
I sat on the edge of her bed, it had been a while since I have been in here.
"What's wrong?" Em asked.
" Everything is going so fast, I'm just....I don't know...I mean I love Tyler...but," I tried to explain but I couldn't.
" Jess you finally have stability in your life, and your scared," Em tells me.
I take a deep breath," I'm having a baby, its just so...not me," I say.
"You will be fine, and if Tyler isn't there for you I will be," Em assures me.
I just bowed my head down, I guess I haven't let everything sink in yet. There was so much distraction around be, and I never registered it all. I was feeling a little depressed about gaining extra weight, and possibly getting stretch marks. I'm afraid Tyler won't find me attractive after I have the baby, or I will run him off during the pregnancy.
"Jess you have to let go of the past so you can embrace your future," Em tells me.
"I know your right," I told her as I gave her a hug good night.
Back in my bed I stared at the ceiling hoping to get some sleep.
I must have eventually dozed off, because my alarm blared in my ear at 6:00am. I got up and grabbed a long hot shower. I decided to wear another one of my undresses Em bought me. When I went into the kitchen for breakfast Em was still asleep. I made sure to be quiet so I didn't wake her, and I just ate my cereal in silence.
When I pulled into the parking lot of the doctor Tyler was already waiting for me. He had a bag of pastries in his hand from my favorite bakery, one of my new cravings.
"I'm going to look like a fat cow soon," I tell him as I accept the bag from him.
"You are beautiful no matter what pumpkin," Tyler tells me and we go inside.
We waited outside until they called us back, doctor offices were always freezing. A few moments later we were in the exam room waiting for Dr,Ko. I looked around at all the information posters on the wall, they always scared me. It wasn't long before the doctor knocked on the door.
"Hello Jessica," he greeted me.
"Hello," I replied shyly.
He explains today's visit, "Today we are going to do a check up and make sure your in good health, and we will also listen for the baby's heartbeat. It is to early to take any images , it will be about month three that we can do that."
He takes my vitals, and draws a few vials of blood.
Everything else in the exam is complete, and he asks me to lay back so he can listen for the babies heart beat.
"So do you want a boys or a girls?" he asks us both.
We were caught off guard, we really hadn't talked much about it with our crazy lives.
"Um, we really haven't decided," I hesitated.
"Well it's good to talk about these things, make the bond between you stronger," he tells us.
I can hear the heartbeat, it almost sounds like two. I listen to the tiny thumping as Tyler holds my hand.
"Well sounds like a healthy pair of heartbeats," Dr.Ko confirms.
"Wait, pair?" Tyler asks.
Dr.Ko replies," Yes Mr.Wilson it's twins didn't you already know?"
I felt the panic rush in and the vomit traveling up my throat. I ran out of the room to the nearest bathroom. When I came out Tyler was shaking the doctors hand, and was holding pamphlets.
"I will see you back in two months," Tyler repeats.
In the car ride to the store I was quiet, and afraid it was to much for Tyler.
"Are you OK babe?" He asked when he reached the store.
I took a deep breath," If you want to run, now is the time."
He pulled me into him, " Pumpkin I already told you I'm not leaving, I love you."
I knew he was telling the truth, it's just this whole emotions thing. I hated feeling hopeless and sad, this was going to take getting use to.
"I better text Em, she wanted to know how it went," I tell Tyler and walk behind the counter.
Jess: Hey were done
Em: How did it go everything good?
Jess: Yeah perfectly healthy, got to hear the babies hearts beats.
Jess: Yes twins
Em: don't worry we can talk when you get home.
Tyler turned on the open sign, and our day began. I was pretty grumpy, but Tyler tried everything to make me smile.
The day seemed to go pretty smooth, and I was ready to go home and cry in my room. I text Em and let her know we were on our way. She asked if we could stop and get some ingredients for experimental
Русская кухня, tr. Russkaya kukhnya (Russian cuisine), Em was always trying new recipes
I asked Tyler if I could wait in the car, I didn't feel like being around people right now. I waited for him to go into the store before I started crying.
"Twins," I say out loud