I paced the floor for about twenty minutes before sitting down next to the box. I don't know whether I was afraid of what I would find, or afraid of what I wouldn't find.
I tipped the lid off and peered inside of what was left of Norma Jean Flowers. The box contained a journal, her will, and to my surprise a letter with my name on it. Also at the bottom of the box, I found the necklace and earrings she had with her at the hospital. That was all that remained of the women who birthed me, five simple items.
I wasn't sure which to read first, the letter addressed to me or her journal. I really needed Em right now, but I understand she needs her space. My phone buzzed at that moment, it was Tyler.
Tyler: hey can we meet?
Jess: are you sure it's safe?
Tyler: yes Helen is sleeping, I have something to tell you
Jess: OK come on over, and be careful
Tyler: see you in a few
I was glad Tyler was coming, he could help me decide which to read first. I waited at the door for him, so we didn't disturb Emily. Moments later he was crossing the street, and I waited for him closing the door behind me.
Before I could lead him to my room, he lightly pressed me against the wall and kissed me passionately. He smelled so good , as if he had just showered. The kiss lasted a good while before he pulled back, and I was lost in him at that moment.
"I'm sorry," he apologized." I don't know what came over me, I can't stop thinking about you. I try so hard, and I don't want to hurt you either," he finished as we entered my room.
"What was it you wanted to tell me," I asked curiously
" Good news, Helen's sister is having a baby. She is due Friday and asked Helen to come back home to Texas to be there for the birth." I can't leave because of the store, so she is taking the boys with too," he said excitedly.
I watched his excitement and it made him look younger in a way, maybe even a little happy. Alone with Tyler for the whole weekend? I was bound to fall for him for sure, and fighting it would be hard without anything to stop us.
"I was hoping you, Em, David and I could plan some kind of diner?" he stated as a question.
"I will ask Em, she's a little stressed right now, and I don't know where she stands with David," I replied.
"What do you mean?" he asked. "About David and her?"
"Well I'm not sure if it's my place to tell you, but the case is Wednesday and after that she is not sure what's going to happen," I blabbed.
"Trust me she has nothing to worry about," Tyler smirked.
"What do you know that I don't?" I asked.
"Well David and I don't only talk when it has to do with saving your ass's," he laughed." I'm actually working with him on a legal matter right now. Not to get off the subject, but he has it bad for Em," David confessed.
"WHAT?" I whispered loudly. "And your just now telling me?"
"Well his last relationship didn't go to well, and well he got his heart broken," Tyler explained. "He wants to take it slow, not just for him but for Em to." He knows what she has been through, and he wants to be there but on her terms."
"Wow I can't wait to tell Em," I bounced on the bed.
"No you can't Jess," he begged. "David told he that in confidence guy to guy, please don't let him think I have a big mouth.
Tyler changed to subject staring at the box on my bed. "What's in the box?' he asked.
I had totally forgotten about it until now, I answered his sadly," It's what is left of my mother."
He was silent as if he wasn't sure if that upset me. I saw Emily's gift and handed it to him, "Oh this is from Em for saving our butt's."
"How sweet of her, she didn't have to," he smiled.
I told him what was in the box, and what the dilemma was the letter or the journal first. He suggested the letter may explain what's in the journal. Why didn't I think of that?
"Will you stay with me while I read it? Then I will let you get back home," I said.
"Anything for you pumpkin," he hugged me.
Pumpkin, I like the sound of that. Things didn't seem so bleak anymore, and I was so happy about David to even if I wasn't suppose to tell Em.
I removed the letter from the envelope and I key fell out, I read the letter out loud.
My dearest Jessica
If your reading this it means I am gone, and that you also have the journal. I have made many mistakes of which I am not proud. I only hope you can find peace in your life, as I didn't make it easy for you. I know now in my last days how time short is, and I hope you live everyday forward like it's your last. There are so many things I never got to tell you, so many things you needed to know. Though I am ashamed of the way I raised you, I only wish I could go back and do it right. I tried to protect you even though you may not have known. The key in which I have placed in the envelope fits a safety deposit box at the bank. It contains pictures and information that I think you have been searching for. Please take caution when you finally decide to read my journal, there were some ugly things I wrote down. Some things maybe I should of told you in person, like a good mother would. I recommend you read it with Em, you will need the support. If you haven't already read my will, I left everything to you and Jim. I'm sure you don't know who that is, but he is your brother it's all in the journal. I know money cant buy love or happiness, but I hope it will help send you on your way to greatness. I had big dreams, and in a way like it or not your a dreamer to Jessica. Let go of the past and the pain and please forgive me. Please forgive yourself for the blame you have taken credit for. It is my dying wish to give you in death what I could not give you in life, the strength to be all you can. You will always be in my heart my beautiful baby girl.
Love your mom