Tabitha The Vampire

     The members of the media begin to chuckle. Ha ha ha’s echo in Tabitha’s extra sensitive, vampire ears. After the hum of conversation and laughter dims to muffles Tabitha speaks.

“That’s right, I’m a Vampire. I’m the leading actress in my debut movie Vamped Up directed by Ron Howard. I just signed an extended contract this morning.”

     “Are you leaving the world of bodybuilding forever, Tabitha?”

     She clears her voice of any gritty lack of articulation and smiles like a politician.

     “No, I’m taking it with me to the silver screen.”

      That’s the money line, Tabby, dang you're good. Now end this media meet and greet before anyone’s the wiser. She thinks.

     A hefty man stands up in the front row—his media tags are dwarfed by his massive boobs and his neck jiggles with every syllable he speaks. Tabitha feels like a thirteen year old boy with erratic erection problems as her fangs slowly begin to appear. The hefty mans jugular is pumping fast and she can actually she it undulating under the flab like it's a surfacing whale in a sea of blood.

     No, Tabby, don’t think about puncturing that neck and gulping the sugary candy laced blood from that fat man. ooooh, but I bet I could drink for hours just look at the size…STOP IT!

     Tabitha purses her lips to conceal her protruding fangs and pinches herself under the podium -- trying to take her mind off of the hefty man who’s questioning her. To Tabitha he’s just gobbling on like a turkey, crowing for the axe, forcing her to strike like a hungry wolf caged in with a plump goose.

     ”... use your incredible body in movies?” The turkey gobbled.
Tabitha only catches the trail end of the question and takes a stab in the dark. Her voice sounds clenched, and forced out from the cheerio sized hole in her pursed, awkward looking lips. Tabitha is officially teeter tottering on the brink of losing it, and her dark lust for blood is weighing heavy.

     “Well, before I became the monster, uh-hem, excuse me, the star I am today, I wasn’t making a killing. Ummm, I mean alot of money. The bank had sucked my assets dry, and uh, I mean— AHHHHHHHH ! I can’t take it anymore!”

     Tabitha leaps from the podium in a streamline motion as if she was built for flight, landing upon her prey. She lifts the hefty man easily like he was a teddy bear filled with air and stuffing. Her triceps compete with her biceps in a which bulge has the biggest vein competition and her lips rear back bearing fangs for all to see.

     The crowd of reporters begin to applaud and cameras snap, snap, snap as if Tabitha put on bowls of Rice Crispies for ear muffs.

     She freezes as her mouth widens to it’s full potential—Looking like a confused wax statue of nosferatu in a stacked female form. She eases up on the hefty man’s shirt and gently places him back into his seat. Acting like she was acting all along.
They LOVE me

     Magazine covers everywhere headline Tabitha the Vampire, Comes Out of the Coffin!—new movie details!

The End

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