Hate is easier than Love

The easiest words to say are also the hardest words to mean... The words I love you... will never mean anything to me... That is... until you truly mean it.

The rain poured down onto her silky raven black hair as she stood, silently sobbing. The rain slowly trickled down her face, masking the tears coming from her frightened, hollow amber eyes. She looked down and bit her lip and tried to hold back her tears as she clenched her petite hands. 'Don't worry my sweet angel, I won't ever leave you alone, I love you.' She fell to the ground in the night's bitter darkness and began to cry into her knees. "Please... Please don't leave me, I'm begging," she mumbled to herself. She was alone now... In the middle of nowhere at the age of 5. She looked up at the sky and screamed, "DADDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 

It's been 9 years since that day... I still remember it like it was only days ago. My father had left me wandering around in the darkness in the rain near forest. In the beginning we were just playing hide and seek. At first I had thought he would come back for me but then... It got later and later and then, I knew deep down that he was never coming back. But, I wanted to think that my father actually wanted me, which he really didn't. I thought for sure I was going to die out there. But, little did I know that an orphanage was only a little while away from wherever I happened to be. That's where I ended up going to after I was 10. Yeah, that's right, for five whole years I didn't find this damn place. Pretty idiotic really, but what really surprises me is that I survived without anyone trying to help me when I was 5. I learned that to eat I had to kill so I went back to the forest and hunted when I was hungry. I slept in alleys and yes, I was a little badass and got into fights with people much bigger than me, but not until I was about 7. I grew cold and distant, everyone was my enemy and I hated myself as well. I never let anyone help me after I became this way... Until one day I got into a fight with this 15 year-old poser boy, and me being a stupid little 10 year-old "badass" I took his challenge. I almost got severely hurt until someone knocked the guy out. From that day on I didn't have to live in alleys anymore.


"Lolita? Lolita, you're staring off into space again," a familiar voice said. I looked up, it was him, Lance. He was the one who saved me from the poser boy when I was younger and even though I don't keep a close relationship with him, I'll always have some gratitude. He is the kind of guy most girls would die to be with. He was tall, skinny, and fair. He had three piercings on his right ear and they were all black, just like his raven-like hair. The thing that I found the most appealing about him was his deep blue eyes that gave him such a "princely" look. He is only five years older than me. I rarely even talk to him. Other than that, I refuse to talk to any of the other kids at this stupid orphanage.

He just smiled, "Lolita come on please be sociable for once and go talk to some of the others." I just sighed, "Ya know Lance, I don't know if it occurred to you yet but um, yeah, I HATE PEOPLE!" He frowned at me. He was such a people person, that's why everyone loved him so much. "Awww Lolita come on there are some people coming to look for children to adopt and they won't want you if-" "Excuse me? I'm not some pet that these assholes can choose from to take home for them to play house. I'm fine with being unwanted thank you, now leave me the fuck alone Lance." 'I didn't care... No one ever wants me anyway.'

I got up and started walking. "Lolita! Where are you going?! I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt your feelings!" I could hear him in the background as I opened the large front doors and closed them as quietly as possible. I learned that those fuckers could be loud when you go to leave but I learned that from sneaking out, not almost being adopted. I needed to get my mind off all this shit. So I walked out into town. 'Ahhh the trashy place I almost died trying to survive in.' I was still cold, I never made friends because I never trusted anyone but Lance after my father left me. Although seeing how Lance is a guy I don't know how I got to trusting him so... easily. But I still keep him at a distance. No one is ever going to hurt me like that again, I won't deal with it. I curse my father for what he did to me, he did more than just leave me... I stopped and looked down and my fist clenched. 'That bastard...' I didn't notice a person behind me until- BAM! I fell straight onto my ass.

"Hey you little bitch what's your fucking problem!"

My ears got red and I got right up, "What did you just say fucker?"

He got pissed, "Bitch you heard me, a woman like you better learn your fucking place, now get on your knees and beg for forgiveness." I chuckled, "Oh princess I think you need to get off that high horse of yours and start walking before I decide to kick your sorry ass."

I shouldn't have said it like that, but hey, dude fucked with me first, not my fault. He swung to punch me. I closed my eyes to let him get the first hit when I felt something in front of me... A person. A boy with gorgeous blue hair held the guys' fist in his hand. I saw the guy get pushed far back. "If you know what's good for you, keep your hands off my girlfriend, you got that asshole?" The guy just nodded fast and bolted off. Wait... GIRLFRIEND?! "Hey dude where the hell do you-" He turned around quick and stopped me mid sentence by holding me close. "Appreciate what I did, just play along and follow me," he looked around at everyone looking at us, "Sorry love I shouldn't have left you here all alone, let's go." He wrapped his arm around my waist and walked with me into an almost empty cafe. "What the fuck was that! Who the fuck do you think you are touching me-." "If I didn't step in, you would have gotten hurt, I don't like seeing girls fucked with. Sorry if I went past your comfort zone," he looked at me with his emerald green eyes.

Damn... this dude was crazy good-looking. He had blue hair that went over one of his eyes and showed the other emerald one. He was incredibly fair, which I absolutely loved.He also had a piercing on his tongue, lip and left ear. The lip and left ear piercing were connected by a chain. "I could have handled that bastard... But thanks anyway..." I might as well thank him for caring, it's very rare when that happens, hell I have more cuts on my arms than I have people that truly care for my well being. "No problem, my name is Gilbert Slayer but you can call me Gil or just Gilbert, what's your name, it has to be something unique by the way you look." "If you're trying to compliment me than thanks, if it's a pick-up line it's a little lame. My name is Lolita," I clenched my teeth just thinking about my last name, "Lolita Blackblood." He smirked a bit, "It's gorgeous and unique, I knew your name would have to be something like that. It fits you perfectly." I felt my heart race a bit and I looked away from his eyes, "Yeah I'm not one to hit on Gilbert, I don't trust easily and you're not gonna be able to woe me. I'm sure it's easy to do to other girls but I'm not like them." He just smirked at me with a teasing look, almost like he was trying to be cocky. "I'm not trying to woe you I promise. But ya know," he leant over the table and got right next to my ear, "I may have hair covering one eye but I'm not blind, I saw you staring at me." Gilbert sat back in his chair with ready for the satisfaction of seeing my embarrassed face, sadly, like I said, I don't like people. But his face was what I enjoyed at that point, Gilbert was in shock. "Oh my bad, did I not tell you, I don't like you, don't take it personally I just don't like anyone in general," I said as I stood up from the chair.

"Thanks for the help Gilbert, hope you don't get hit by a fucking truck," I started to walk away. Then Gilbert grabbed my wrists and hugged me tight and close. My eyes widened, I couldn't move or tell him to stop. "Since this is probably the last time you'll let me ever see you, I wanted a hug," he went close to my ear, "but I want you to know... you'll never be alone."

-Click!- 'I won't ever leave you alone...'


I felt as if something in me shattered. "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" I screamed as I slammed him onto the floor. He looked up at me surprised as I looked down at him shaking like a wet poodle. I felt the tears in my eyes and I felt myself freeze. As he went to try to touch my cheek I smacked his hand, "YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT ME SO WHY DON'T YOU STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME AND NEVER TOUCH ME AGAIN!" I said nothing more and I didn't let him say anything more, I just ran, ran until I got back to the orphanage front doors. I was crying, I was in my weak state again and felt helpless... So I went into the forest right behind the orphanage and sat against the wall, silently sobbing... It almost felt like that day. When he said that it sounded like..... him......    

             Something bad would come from meeting that boy... I just knew it....

My name is Lolita Blackblood, you'll soon know what it means... to be in the presence of true fear...

 

The End

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